Back to Business

And with that, the 2011 season is in full-swing.

It's been a pretty good, no, a DAMN good start to the 2011 season for my boys in black-and-white. We won on Opening Day, giving the Indians a thorough throttling and winning our first series of the season.


















Unfortunately, we also split with KC, but that's ok-new series, new start!


Today was the home opener, and Edwin Jackson gave a spectacular performance by going 8 innings, 13 Ks, and 1 walk. It was the highlight to a chilly, cloudy day in Chicago. The Rays, on the other hand, only managed 1 run in the 3rd inning, and after that, they were completely shut down by Jackson's devastating slider. And in a shocking twist of fate, the once mighty Rays are now 0-6. Suck on that, you ESPN snobs!






























But perhaps the best news of all involves none other than my favorite player, the one and only Carlos Quentin. He's been on fire for the past few games, knocking in home runs and RBIs left and right.




























I knew it! Carlos was just waiting to explode in productivity if given the right conditions! Now that he's healthy, he's unstoppable-just like in 2008 when I first saw him play. Also on a positive note-as far as I know, he hasn't been hit by a pitch yet!





















If my boy keeps this up, he'll be an MVP, hands down. And who knows, if he becomes an MVP, maybe Kenny will finally sign him to that long-term contract.



















(Cartoon courtesy of Carl Skanberg)


Tomorrow is day 2 of the series with the Gays. Expect another ass-whuppin', courtesy of John Danks-the Miracle Man.





























On a more serious note, Adam "Ding Fries are Dunn" is still out, recovering from his appendectomy, but is expected to return soon-likely Friday. While I'm glad to know that Dunn is almost recovered, I'm a little concerned because we paid an arm and a leg for this crystal chandelier! I remember when my dad told me that we'd re-signed Dunn, and I proceeded to ask if Kenny had finally gone bonkers. As far as I was concerned, Adam Dunn was too old and too useless cuz he couldn't play anything else except DH, and we already had a whole slew of DHs. Anybody with any sliver of business sense knows that its unwise to invest in something that's spent to the point of no return.






























*Sigh*

Tough as it may be sometimes, I trust my GM. And my manager, Ozzie, no matter how much of a headache he gives the PR Department.























In honor of my favorite player's hot start, here's a commercial from 2009, showing off his sweet hitting skills. Enjoy!



GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

News News News

I'm baaacccckkkkkk!!!! Guess you know what my New Years resolution is gonna be (hint: it involves spending more time blogging about the Sox).





















Oh what a chaotic year its been. We brought in the disgustingly-dreadlocked Manny Ramirez in the second half of the season, and he was meh. We also did rather substandard (though not as bad as KC, Detroit, and Cleveland. Those guys REALLYsucked balls!). If there is a good sign in the end of this season, its that we finished in second place as opposed to last (*ahem* KC). Also, the Twins got wiped out of the playoffs in the first round, so that was some comfort and joy to us beleaguered Sox fans.





















The offseason has been a rather busy one by any standard. When GM Kenny sees a player he likes, he wastes no time in getting the said player to come and sign with the Sox.

Take Adam Dunn, our most high-profile signing this offseason. Though he is known for his tater-mashing [basically, he hits alot of home runs], I was not sure if signing him was a good idea because Dunn can't play. He used to be a first baseman, but now all he can do is DH. The Sox already had 3 DHs (does the term "musical DH" sound familiar?), so I questioned Kenny's wisdom in acquiring another one. How useful Dunn is to us this year remains to be seen.
























We also got rid of that fat dustmop, Bobby Jenks.



















From what I'd been able to gather about the Sox, Jenks was really starting to stink up the place. Plus, he and Ozzie were engaged in a bitch-fight, both in person and on Twitter. I don't blame Ozzie for wanting him out. My manager's got already a difficult job to do, and he doesn't need a smartass harping on him all the time. If Ozzie wanted to hear harpies, he's got his kid's Twitter feed to follow.





























In a bit of joyous news, my beloved Carlos Quentin got re-signed by the Sox.




















$5.05 million for one more year, just avoiding arbitration. Also, one more year of me seeing my favorite player on my favorite team.

Also re-signed: Miracle Man John Danks ($6 million) and Tony Pena ($1.6 million)




























In a bit of non Sox-related news: MLB's favorite shit-on-a-stick, Milton Bradley got arrested on a felony charge.

























Apparently, he threatened some woman out in CA. Last I checked, Bradley is scheduled to be in court on Feb. 8. Given Bradley's psychotic personality and colorful history in baseball, I'm pretty sure he's kissed his entire MLB career goodbye.

Before I sign off on today's post, I would like to have a final say about the recent tragedy that took place in my city of Tucson, AZ, in which a deranged, drug-addicted young man opened fire on a crowd of people who had gathered in a grocery store parking lot to meet a local congresswoman. 20 people were injured, including the congresswoman (Gabrielle Giffords), and six people died, including a nine-year old girl. I mention the nine-year old girl, named Christina Taylor Green, because she had a connection to baseball, the sport I love so much. As it turns out, her grandfather, Dallas Green, was a manager for the Philadelphia Phillies and led them to a World Series victory in 1980. Christina Green's father was a scout for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and the young girl herself played on the local Little League team out here in Tucson. What happened a week ago on Saturday was truly a tragic incident. May all those affected by this tragedy find ways to heal and overcome the pain from this incident.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

WE'RE NOT DEAD YET!!!

it's been a while since i've actually written anything ABOUT the white sox! all i've been doing is posting links from the dugout because i'm too busy with school to watch baseball ;_;.

well, despite a few swept series and some recent wins, my boys in black and white are a full 6 games back of the tigers and still in 3rd place. we were up to 2nd place at one point, but then we blew it out our asses on a grueling road trip. but, we're not technically mathematically eliminated just yet. if the math geniuses at south side sox are right, we still have a chance to get to the post season. it's very slim and shrinking fast, but it's there and it's up to us to reach it.

all we have to do now is WIN!!! just WIN!! sweep anyone and everyone who comes our way, but find a way to win! otherwise, we'll just fall back into mediocrity, much like poor saleri in "amadeus". then, kenny's got alot of explaining to do.

our pitchers have to get better. so do our hitters and fielders cuz nobody can hit or catch anymore! john danks needs to find out what's wrong with his finger and get it fixed! mark buehrle, our lone ace, has lost his magic touch and has become mediocre once more. pretty boy gordon beckham hurt himself and is useless, and though my boy is still kicking, he's gotta pull himself together or else he is toast. carlos, superglue your bones together and wrap yourself up in bubblewrap between innings if you have to! also, i'd get rid of that fat dustmop bobby jenks. his arm has failed him this year. as for our new aquisition, diva jake peavy, this guy better prove to kenny and the rest of white sox nation that he's worth all the trouble it took to get him.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

2010 pie

fresh from southside sox. this little ditty (ripped off from "american pie") pretty much sums up our whole season

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember How spring training used to make me smile.
And I knew the boys had a chance
To make it to the Autumn Dance
And, maybe, stick around for a while.

But late August made me shiver
With every loss they delivered.
Bad news on the front page;
No more hope at this stage.
I laughed so hard I almost cried
When I read the dumb shit about pride,
Turned off the games and went outside
The day the season died.

So bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye.
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Did you think we'd rise above,
And did you have faith in Fields' glove,
Because Cora tells you so?
Do you believe who they put out,
Goggles, The Bridge, all those shut outs,
And poor Q! limping off the field real slow?

Well, there was the Colon experiment,
We all know how awesome that went.
Him and the Count just shat the bed,
How many innings will DJ get?

We called up a Georgia broncin buck
Tore the stitches off after initial suck,
But even He couldn't save this clusterfuck
The day the season died.

I started singin "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Now last year we got the Central crown
Stood to repeat since the rest are down,
But it just wasn't meant to be.
When you trot out Gobble, Broadway, and Nessie,
Plus Linebrink shits bricks for all to see,
At least there was perfection from Buehrle...

Oh, and then The Ace got knocked around,
After another seventeen sat down.
Danks' shakiness returned,
Was shutdown or got burned.
And while Floyd's been solid down the stretch,
There were points where he'd make you wretch,
Wise ensured legacy with The Catch.
But still, the season died.

We were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Defense melted in a summer swelter,
Bullpen giving up bombs; better seek shelter,
Just two back then falling fast.
Last games on dome's fake-ass grass
The old guys tried for one last gasp,
People shout to stop living in the past.

Now the trade deadline was taken shrewd,
We locked up Peavy and that Rios dude.
We want to go to The Dance,
Oh, but we screw up every chance!
'cause the facepalm lineups take the field;
Runners the pitching would always yield.
Errors galore, their fate was sealed.
The day the season died.

We were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Oh, for the day they were in first place,
Instead of Pods out there with bad breaks
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Pods be nimble, Pods be quick!
Pods picked off like a dumb prick
Cause the devil's gonna collect, my friend.

Oh, and Ozzie kept Alex in a cage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No snowball's chance in hell
Could break the doghouse spell.
And as Sox fans argue into the night
About when Peavy's start is right,
The offense loses all its fight
The day the season died.

They were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Next year we'll get a healthy Q!,
A Savior with less defense miscues,
Some contracts will be turned away.
A shakeup in the lineup core
Can't play the same guys as years before,
No sense paying them for declining play.

And on the nets: commenters screamed,
The kittehs cried, dumb statements reamed.
The right rail was a joke and
"No subject lines" verboten.
And the one guy that I like most:
Sat at home, bored, career is toast.
Sign Frank so he ends as a Pale Hose
Now that the season's died.

And we'll be singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

We'll be singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

indeed, what a miserable season it was.
GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

why your stadium sucks-US cellular field edition

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

crucial updates

despite my long absence, there are some crucial updates to be made:

1. i have been granted an opportunity to contribute to a popular baseball blog. the editors of "more hardball", gm_carson and burton, have invited me to contribute articles to their blog. since theirs is an all-around baseball blog, i can't do the in-depth analysis of my white sox that i normally engage in over here at cell's bells. however, i can contribute some of my more quirky items, like "the dugout" (which hasn't been working since i've returned from vacation), and random quotes by my loudmouth manager ozzie, the latter of which should prove useful talking materials.

my point is, do not fear that i will abandon cell's bells. i will continue to post enteries here, but now you can catch me elsewhere.

2. the entire reason for this blog's existance: THE WHITE SOX!!! i've all but neglected them!

things have not been well for my boys in black-and-white as of late. they played well against the angels while i was in CA, but upon arriving home, things just dropped off. though john danks pitched the game of his career against seattle on tuesday, and got the win, but they split the series with the mariners. today, they played the As. contreras was due to pitch today, and did, but blew a 6-run lead. last i checked the As and sox were tied at 7 in the bottom of the 8th. since mark kotsay used to play for the As, i wonder if they gave him a happy homecoming.

in light of jose contreras' return to rock-bottom, i wonder when diva jake peavy is due to begin pitching for us...

thats all for now. i returned an hour ago from the dodgers-diamondbacks game here in AZ. d-backs won and dan haren pitched very well. so well, he had the balls to hit andre ethier with manny ramirez coming up in the 7th. both men got out. the snakes lit up starter clayton kershaw in the 2nd, putting on 4 straight runs. if they'd scored 2 more, the taco bells down here in AZ would have given away 3 free tacos with the purchase of a large drink and showing your ticket stub. but alas it was not to be. you could smell the tacos, but the taco bell was closed :(.

as for that diva manny, chase field got especially noisy when he came up to bat. i booed, LA fans cheered. its a damn shame manny had to get busted for taking HCG, cuz i really think he would have looked nice with the boobs he aquired from using that hormone. it would work well with his disgusting dreadlocks.

and despite the obnoxiousness of dodger fans, todays game was a reminder as to why i love baseball so much. there was great pitching, spectacular catches, a defense that knew what it was doing, steals that required balls of steel to pull off, a charged atmosphere, and the fans behaved themselves for the most part.

thats all for tonight.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

BOOYAH!!!

yet another busy week in white sox nation!

first the trade deadline was this week, and in a shocking twist, my gm kenny williams picked up journeyman mark kotsay, AND san diego diva jake peavy! yes, you read that right! jake peavy has come to the white sox! it took 3 different tries, a bunch of minor-league players, and 1 pissed off pitcher before that diva finally agreed to come. now comes the performance-peavy has to prove that for all the trouble it took to get him here, he's not a bust. if peavy turns out to be a bust, then kenny's got alot to answer for.

my dad was telling me that the reason peavy came over was so that kenny could get rid of jermaine "JD" dye. but in last night's game, i saw JD sitting in the dugout next to ozzie. i guess that rumor was false. but still, you can never have enough aces.

speaking of last night's game, my sox had the game of the week by ass-raping the yankees 10-5. in a strange twist of the lineup, dj "tabasco" carrasco got the call to start instead of gavin floyd (who's pitching tomorrow). john danks started thursday and won, so yesterday would have been BHB. anyway, carrasco got off to a bit of a rough start by giving up 3 runs to the yankees in the 1st. but in a happy turn of events, the sox roared back, putting up 1 run in the 1st, 2 in the 2nd, 2 more in the 5th, and after the yankees tied it up in the 5th, my boys in black-and-white unleashed a torrent of runs in the 7th-tacking on 5 more.

indeed, the 7th inning was what sealed the yankees doom. ozzie ordered a double steal in which jayson nix stole home and chris getz stole 2nd. then, we just lit up the pitcher, hitting small ball but piling on the runs. posada, the yankees' nail-painting catcher, couldn't catch anything that came his way from the infield. as a joke, my brother told me that i should play for the yankees, since i would make a better catcher then posada, and i'm relatively inexperianced.

has my boy carlos been on a hot streak or what? he hit a home run in MN, and hit another home run yesterday. my boy also hit some RBI doubles, and caught the game-sealing popout.

dustmop bobby jenks was nowhere to be seen. my dad told me that he's been out sick, so linebrink closed the game out in place of him.

my dad told me that raping the yankees like this was the best thing to do, cuz the yankees spent so much money to get all these guys, and most of them have been ok-not the best, just ok. it's more of a revenge thing. it appears that it's a birthright for almost anyone born outside of new york to hate the yankees. that whole AL east is so overrated.

tomorrow i'm heading off to california with my uncle and brother! my uncle promised to take us to LA for vacation, so we're going tomorrow and staying for a week. i'm really looking forward to this trip, but i won't be able to write for a week cuz im not bringing my computer. its just too much of a hassle to crate along.

bye everyone! i'll write when i get back from LA!

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

birdie blowout

hello! hope you've all enjoyed your all-star break, where once again, my AL dominated and won in a much-shorter matchup than last years 15-inning marathon. mark buehrle did well for the short time that he was on, and once again, the NL sees living proof as to why having a DH is a good thing.

my 1 gripe with the all-star game this year was having the president come to throw out the 1st pitch. there was just too much hoopla surrounding him. plus, our president talks too much. i dont happen to be a fan of president obama for various reasons. plus, he ripped off mark buehrle's signature fistpump after he strikes out someone to end a successful inning! cheating is not something to be celebrated!!

there were some surprises this year. for 1 thing, slub carlos zambrano did not make the all-star game roster (guess his temper tantrums have caught up with him)-a nobody named ted lilly represented the northsiders this year. manny wasn't there either, but we all know why that was the case. the east coast dominated again (red sox and yankees), and the sucky diamondbacks (who have the most awesome stadium in baseball) sent 2 players! also, in a shocking turn of events, the orioles didn't send nick markakis.

but speaking of the orioles, yesterday's game saw the orioles get BLOWN OUT!!! jim thome had a monster night by hitting 2 home runs-the first was a 3-run HR in the 5th, and in the 6th, he hit a grand slam. paul konerko also contributed with a home run in the 2nd, and although our defense gave up a few runs, and though we looked like we were gonna lose it after the orioles tied it in the 6th, we tacked on so many runs that there was nothing the orioles could do about it. the final score was a lopsided 12-8.

todays game was a much closer 4-3 in favor of the white sox. our ace mark buehrle was pitching, and the underrated jermaine dye (who should have accompanied mark buehrle to the allstar game this year) hit a 3-run homerun to put the sox ahead for the rest of the game.

in the meantime, my boy is slated to be back soon! just a few more games in charlotte, and he'll be good as new!

speaking of charlotte, there's still no news of bartolo colon! maybe he's still hiding from ozzie and mourning for michael jackson.

what a way to start off the 2nd half of the season!

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

bartolo's blues

usually, i dont write about stories relating to the white sox here "cells bells" that were previously featured on other websites, as i like to keep my stories about my boys in black-and-white as close to my original perspective as possible. but today is an exception.

rick chandler over at "sports by brooks", a sports gossip site who's catchy headline caught my eye in the white sox widget on my page, has posted an unusual piece regarding the whereabouts of fat bartolo. according to the story, fatso is due to start pitching in charlotte tonight for rehab, but no one has been able to get in contact with him and he hasn't been seen in days!

what's ozzie's explanation for his employee's sudden disappearance?

“I worry about Colon because Colon was a big-time Michael Jackson fan,” Guillen said. “He might [watch] the TV and cry all day long. Maybe he is in L.A. at his funeral, because I can’t find him. When he gets to Charlotte, Oney (Guillen’s son) will call me to say he’s there.

“Nobody knows how big of a Jackson fan Colon was. I’m serious. He might be depressed a little bit.”

and there's no mention of fatso scarfing down a tub of haagen daaz as he watched the funeral extravaganza (see my other blog "the pen is mightier than the sword" for my final opinion on michael jackson) and mourned the loss of his idol.

that said, fatso's agent told reporters that his client would pitch tonight in charlotte, but this remains to be seen.

you can read the whole story here.

before i sign off this post, i must congratulate paul konerko for his monster night 2 days ago where he hit 3 home runs in 1 game against the indians. CONGRATULATIONS PAULIE!!! YOU'RE NOT WASHED UP JUST YET!!!!

also, my journalistic duty must report that we failed to sweep the indians a second time. today's pitcher, clayton richard, was rocked by the indians in the first few innings. the final score was 10-8 in favor of cleveland, but we took 2/3 so it was all good. our next series is saturday against the twins (or twinkies, as my dad likes to call them). starting pitchers will be john danks for us, and nick blackburn for them.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

win baby win

for the 4th straight series, the sox have managed to win 2 out of 3 games. while we haven't swept anyone since may/early june, 2/3 is acceptible, for now. it shows that we're still not dead yet.

today's game (which i, shamefully, again did not watch because my brother dragged me out of the house to best buy to look for a computer case) was a thriller. it was john danks versus the 1 consistantly good player on the cubs, carlos zambrano. from the highlights at southside sox, alexei had a MVP moment when he hit a 2-run homerun in the 6th. what made this one special was that podsie, the leadoff man-for-now, got plunked by BIG Z (no warnings were issued). the sox had a good game, scoring both early and often. final score was a 6-0 blanking in favor of the white sox.

and in his traditional postgame interview, the ever-outrageous ozzie guillen had a few words to say about the recent (lack of) attendance at games:

So the Sox need the Cubs to help them draw fans? White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was asked why attendance was so low at the Sox-Dodgers series, and said: “Because our fans are not stupid like Cubs fans. They know we’re (expletive).”

Guillen said Cubs fans will go watch any game at Wrigley Field because “Wrigley Field is just a bar.”

quote courtesy of south side sox. i should write a book and just fill it with outrageous quotes by ozzie guillen.

our next series will be against the cleveland indians over in cleveland. tomorrow's starting pitchers will be BHB and carl "american idle" pavano.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

happy father's day!

hi everyone!

first of all, to all few guys who read my blog at this end of the internet, i want to wish you a very happy father's day!

hoo-boy! have we been busy! the crosstown classic was split after game 1 was rained out. john danks DID, however, pitch the next day against ryan "the canadian" dempster of the cubs. danks did a spectacular job-8 innings of scoreless baseball. dempster, on the other hand, gave up 2 runs and the cubs bullpen gave up 2 MORE runs later on. scott linebrink, who's been struggling lately, gave up 1 run in the 9th, but matt thornton finished it for us. final score: sox-4, cubs-1.

game 3 was on cable. gavin floyd and his BHB was pitching against the mighty carlos zambrano of the cubs. BHB did pretty well (zambrano, not so much), and the sox led for most of the game, but in the 9th, derek lee of the cubs hit a home run to win it.

things haven't been well since then. after the cubs, it was off to cincinnati to play the reds. jose contreras faced off bronson arroyo. contreras did ok, but the bullpen blew it. we lost 3-4.

yesterday, however, it was better. clayton richard faced some fella named johnny cueto. we did much better and won 10-8.

today, mark buehrle faces off against danny harang (also known as "harangutang", get it...?). when i checked the score, it was 2-0 sox in the top of the 1st.

and in other news, those damn cubs are doing better and better. they've beat the indians twice already, including former players mark derosa and kerry wood. both victories were also come-from-behinds, normally in the 9th (and often won in extra innings). on our side, fat bartolo's on the DL. knee problems listed, but i think ozzie needed a legitimate reason to bench him. as you all know, fatso's been having some problems throwing the ball in the strike zone.

happy father's day!
GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

whats next?

the sox win the series against the brewers in a 5-4 thrilla'. since the game was on cable, i went to south side sox for the recap. apparantly, we came back in the 9th. mark buehrle was pitching and did ok. is it just me or does it seem that when the sox are on the road, they have a better playing record? think about this for a second: in that road trip 3-or-so weeks ago, we won every series against every team we faced. but when we came home, the team tanked! now, we get called up to milwaukee, and win that series up there! im sure im not the only one in white sox nation who's noticing this trend. it seems that 2007 is coming back with a vengance.

but on a more positive note, today is game 1 of my favorite rivalry: cubs vs. white sox. and yes, this game is on cable too. this sucks cuz on the cubs, big bad carlos zambrano is pitching and he's the 1 player on the cubs who's actually GOOD at his job! i personally dont mind watching the cubs, but only if zambrano's pitching. otherwise that team sucks.

for us, it's john danks getting the call. i think this game is at wrigley field too.

here's a random tidbit: today at macy's in downtown chicago, my boy carlos was slated to make an appearance. if you spent over $75 for father's day, you got an autographed picture of my boy. but, if you didnt have money to spend (like ME!!), you could have gone for autographs. i would have really liked to go just to get an autograph from my boy, and maybe ask him how his foot was feeling (news outta herm schnider-the white sox trainer-says that carlos won't be back till the all-star break, if not later. torn tendon in the foot is the standing diagnosis). but unfortunately, i cant drive in chicago (mainly cuz i cant parallel park, but the traffic makes me very nervous), and i dont wanna pay for parking (it costs like $20 to park ANYWHERE in chicago now!).

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

royal flush

hey hey!!

the white sox topped off a rewarding roadtrip by sweeping, yes-SWEEPING, the kansas city royals. the first game was on friday, and we ass-raped the royals 11-7. unfortunately, this game was on cable, and therefore i did not catch it.

the next game was yesterday. for this game, it was mark buehrle who got the call to start. also for this game, MLB had the teams bring out the throwback uniforms. let me just say that the old royals uniforms (then called "monarchs") looked pretty freakin' gay. i mean, it was like something right out of "the natural" or "field of dreams". the royals' hats looked like someone had put a bowl on your head and glued a dark, straight bill to it. at least the sox had dark uniforms with white pinstripes. dark colors will always be fashionable.

but enough about the crappy uniforms and onto a more serious matter, such as BASEBALL!!! the sox had a good game. they were leading 3-1 at 1 point, but then buehrle gave up a 2-run home run to tie the game at 3. luckly, jim thome hit an RBI double in the 9th that put us up 5-3. bobby jenks and that dustmop beard of his came out and got the save for us. take note, however, that i did not watch the game in its entirity. my mom made me go walking with her (something about me needing "exercise"), so i missed most of the game, but i caught the end!

today's game i was sure to catch in its entirity. it was a monster pitching matchup: john danks the miracle man vs. the lone royals ace, zack "grienkydinks" greinke. however, the pitching on both sides was less than spectacular on both sides. grienkydinks gave up 1 run in the 1st, and blew a 4-1 lead. miracle man, on the other hand, couldn't find the strike zone and had to rely on the offense to make up for his lack of control. the score would have been much higher, but our defense did a good job of getting the ball to where it needed to be FAST. alexei ramirez, who earlier in the game lost a ball in the sun and further extended a bad inning, made up for his error by catching everything that went his way. paulie also was looking young as he scooped a ball up outta the dirt to catch a royals runner by a hair. after miracle man was relieved of duty, pidgeon-toed octavio d'oh-tel took over for the next 2 innings, setting the tone for matt thornton and scott linebrink. grienkydinks continued to pitch until the 7th, even though he'd gone over the 100 pitches mark. i remarked to my dad that because grienke was the ace, the royals were gonna keep him in there until his arm fell off. we finally took the lead in the 9th after royals reliever juan cruz failed to keep our guys' bats in check. BA, who came in on a pinch-run, made the most awesome slide home. he just dove into home plate, missing the catchers glove, and might have gone head-over-heels if he kept sliding long enough. we sweep the royals with a final score of 7-4. grienke did not get his win; mission accomplished.

tomorrow, that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon gets the start against the A's. fatso's last game was pretty impressive, and while the A's have my former fan-flame nomar garciaparra (i loved him in boston) on the team, this should be an easy series. nomar's too old to do any serious damage, and as far as i can tell, the A's are nothing to write home about. plus, its the start of a 12-game homestand for us. can you smell another sweep? or is all those burgers that fatso's swiping from the buffet table?

whatever, tubby. just get us our damn win tomorrow!

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

pound for pound

hi-ho, hi-ho, its off to work i go...well, until i can actually find a real job, i'll consider this my source of employment. well, journalism is technically a career, regardless of what you write about. any shmo who is literate and has access to a computer or any other means of distributing their work can be a journalist, and never once set foot in journalism school.

oh boy did we give the angels a POUNDING last night! my boy hit a double that brought in 2 runs in the first, we scored another run after that, and when i looked at the score yesterday, we were up 13-3 in the 5th. miracle man got the start and pitched a great game. i forget who the angels starter was (i think it was john lackey), but he got shelled. sucked to be him last night. the final score was 17-3. BOO-YAH!!! :D

but despite our lopsided victory, there came some bad news. yup, it involves none other than my boy, carlos jose quentin. oh boy, what now? might you ask. well, its his hamstring. after hitting that 2-run RBI, he pulled his hammie running into 2nd base and had to be helped off the field. this latest injury is compounded on top of plantar fascitis (sp?) in his left foot (basically, the tendon in your heel is damaged or strained. it makes walking painful. my mom had it and it took her 6 mos. to heal). i swear! my carlos has become a crystal chandelier!! poke him, he blows out his shoulder; pat him on the back, and he falls to pieces like that liquid nitrogen drenched quicksilver terminator in "terminator 2: judgement day". i say, when he's not playing, wrap him up in bubble wrap and store him in the closet till he gets better. theres no telling when my boy will be back, so therefore i wish him to get well soon.

tonite, that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon gets the call to start. fatso is 2-4 as of now, and i have no idea what his ERA is (probably over 5 by now). BA will be playing in carlos' spot and the game is at 9 tonight on WCIU. it sucks playing on the west coast cuz the time difference means that games start later and end later for us in the midwest. i dont think i'll be able to watch the whole game, but i'll hold out for as long as i can before my mom has to drag me kicking and screaming to bed. hopefully tonite, we'll win. dont care how we do it, but we have to win.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

*editors note*-ladies and germs (well, germs mostly), once again, ive made a mistake. in our whuppin of the angels, i incorrectly listed the starting pitcher's name for the angels as john lackey. last night's starting pitcher was in fact ervin santana. tonight's starting pitcher is joe saunders. also fatolo's ERA is 4.23, not nearly as high as i first thought. my most sincere apologies for this mistake.

pain in the ass

before i write my daily white sox post-game analysis, id like to give a big hearty HOORAAAYYYY!!! for my fellow sports-blogger associates gm-carson and burton over at more hardball. they've been gone for a week and just when i thought they'd abandoned more hardball, they came back and posted a new entry (they said it was technical problems). well its about damn time you guys came back! i was starting to think you'd forgotten about kicking baseball's top stories squarely in the nuts! (aside from whats going on with the phillies)

and now, to business.

SOX WIN!! SOX WIN!! the miracle man john danks got right back in form with a career high 10ks and 1 run on 4 hits.

my boy carlos had a pretty good day too. he drove in 1 run on an RBI-double, hit a second double, and scored twice-1st when jd hit a double that brought my boy home, and the second time was when paulie hit a sac-fly that sent my boy nearly plastering the rangers catcher jerrod 'salty' saltalamacchia at home plate (though my boy had to retouch home plate cuz the ref wasnt paying attention when he slid home the 1st time around). he also got hit by a pitch-yet again. i tell ya, either he should have a special uniform with a target painted on it or change his stance cuz there are better ways to take 1 for the team, most of which do not include being a masochist!!














aside from my boy, our game was shaky. we had the lead twice, and then we lost it. but the rangers were only able to tie the score, never get ahead.

but the highlight of the game was at the end when the great bobby jenks came on to get the save. after striking out the 1st 2 batters, bobby let his 1st pitch fly at ian kinsler's ass. he wasnt hit, but the ref came out to warn bobby, and hawk (our announcer) almost had a heart attack in the booth because he was so mad and yelling at the ref. as i was cruising the forums at southside sox for any other postgame analysis, i duely noted that someone wrote in regards to bobby's beaning that "they better get the diffribullators (sp?) ready in the broadcast booth!" because hawk was so pissed. but hawk wasnt alone; i and the rest of white sox nation were equally angry and thought that the ref was being harsh cuz pitchers are typically warned when they intentionally bean batters. even ozzie came out to argue (it was his 2nd time out to argue with the refs. the 1st arguement was about my boy's slide home), and since i saw this ref had a short fuse, i thought for sure ozzie was gonna get tossed. but thankfully everyone's temper was in control, and nobody got tossed.

tomorrow, that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon gets the call to start. the rangers starter is vicente padilla, and i hear he's pretty good. but today's win should give us the momentum to win this series-especially since we have a more mediocre pitcher on the mound then jose contreras!

ibis, get the air fresheners ready and stock up on laundry detergent. this could be a long one.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

dink dunk donk danks

another day, another loss.

john danks the miracle man again didnt have his stuff. in the 1st inning, he gave up a solo-homerun to speedy ian kinsler. the bleeding didnt stop there. the miracle man pooped out 3 more runs over the course of 6 innings. d'oh-tel temporarily stemmed the bleeding, but dj carrasco-an otherwise effective setup man-shat out 1 more run.























the sox had plenty of opportunities to score. many times there were runners in scoring position, and at 1 pt in the 3rd, the sox had the bases loaded with my boy carlos up at bat. after a long at-bat, my boy...struck out. yeah... my boy wasnt too happy about that.


the sox did manage to get 1 run. it came on some base hits, one of which brought alexei home. sorry-the skeletons in the pic below are supposed to be dancing the can-can. 'dancing alexei' courtesy of southside sox.












there was a plethora of pain down in arlington. during my boy's at-bat, the 1st baseman went over the edge of the seats chasing down a foul ball and landed flat on his ass. but before that, in the 1st inning, josh fields got hit on the hand, and when the trainers took his glove off, the impact was swollen and ready to bruise. fields did play for the rest of the game, but he won't be playing tomorrow against KC (and on that note, jd won't be playing either). then, in either the 3rd or 4th inning, the TX pitcher threw a pitch that the batter fouled off, but it flew into the safety net behind home plate and scared the fan so much that he threw his popcorn box into the air, spilling the kernals all over the seat (and the announcer colloquially remarked that the pitcher "scared the hell outta him"). the final painful moment was in the 6th when the TX 1st baseman (yeah, him again) had to stretch to get the ball on a bounce. by stretch, i mean STEEERRRREEETTCHHH!!!! into a split. looks like somebody's gonna be a little sore tomorrow >:].


tomorrow my boys go up to KC to play the royals. the game won't be televised down here, but that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon is due to start. good luck fatso!



















GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

split!

as i grimly predicted in my earlier post, the sox lost in game 2 by a final score 9-1. john danks the miracle man was outta juice, and the offense was nonexistant.

tomorrow's game is on WGN (at least thats what it says on the televised game printout that i have pinned on the bulletin board on my desk. i've highlighted all the days that WGN or ESPN carry a game). it'll be at 11:00 am my time, so i'll have to get up bright and early for this (actually, since its a weekday, i dont wake up later than 9:30. i may be a lazy bum, but i save my sleep-all-morning routine for the weekends). gavin floyd and his big hairy balls (or BHB) gets the start tomorrow. maybe we can win this series, since its obvious that we cant sweep!

1 down, 1 to go

good news! that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon got us a victory in game 1!

unfortunately, john danks the miracle man ran outta juice early cuz the sox are down 5-0 last time i looked.





GO WHITE SOX!!!


tamtam

rain delay, part II

as usual, the white sox got rained out again last night. i tell you, with all this rain, my home city will turn into an underwater city like atlantis within a few days! michigan and indiana are gonna get all the crap that manages to float across the lake and settle on their shores. my dad called me on sunday to tell me that with all the rain, the weather was perfect for "just ducks and submarines!"

today at 2 my time on WGN, it will be the 1st game of the doubleheader. chris jakubauskas will pitch game 1, but it will be against that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon. john danks the miracle man gets game 2.

in the meantime, lets enjoy this rain delay by watching dick allen juggle baseballs and smoke a cigarette at the same time (take THAT jim leyland!)

rainout, ozzie spills his guts, and guess who's back!

hey-yo!!

today's game in detroit was rained out. that sucked cuz our miracle man was due to start. but tomorrow the newly-svelte jose contreras is due to take the mound. hope he has a better game tomorrow. this trip for us in detroit has been pretty good so far. paulie and jd went back-to-back for record-setting home runs, my boy q hit 2 home runs in the same game, and buerhle got his groove back.

so to fill out this rain-delay, i came across a funny Q&A segment featuring none other than ozzie guillen, our crazy manager.

in this Q&A, ozzie revealed that he would like to interview fidel castro, hugo chavez (who's regime he is currently displeased with), and barack obama. ozzie also is very superstitious: when the team is on a winning streak, he doesnt change his clothes (including underwear), and after a 10-gm winning streak, he claims "my locker doesnt smell too good". i gets thats a good way of picking who he wants to talk to in the media on a given day: interview ozzie by his locker and the ones left standing get to give the interview XD. other than being disgustingly dirty when the team is on a winning streak (i'll bet there are times his wife just wishes the team would lose so she can wash ozzie's clothes and send him off to bed/work smelling CLEAN!!), ozzie reveals that he dreams about shakira and considers sox fans the smarter chicago baseball fans ("sox fans actually care about baseball...cubs fans only go to get drunk."). the Q&A, conducted by es-pun's jim caple, can be viewed in its entirity here.

finally, a story which broke this morning, and has been thoroughly digested by people all over the sports blogosphere (well, specifically at south side sox). scott podsednik, known affectionately as 'podsie-pan' (see here for clarification-its old, but its perfect timing too!), went from being a speedy catalyst to being a putzy crunk, and bounced around the majors for a few years. since his fielding has declined considerably since his time with us, the sox signed podsie-pan to a minor league deal. i guess they'll bring him up when general soreness jerry owens, brought up when ba starts to suck, goes down with another sore groin. basically, podsie-pan is now the backup to the backup to the backup.

thats all for tonite!! im going to a tea party tomorrow here in tucson, so i may or may not be able to catch all of the sox game on wgn. but if i miss, the next televised game is on saturday. thank god for south side sox to break things down for me when i cant catch the games.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam