Saturday, April 9, 2011

Eaten Alive

Unfortunately, we could not keep the momentum going from last night.

Today, my boys in black-and-white coughed it up in the 9th inning after Matt Thornton gave up 5 runs to give the Rays the game. You PUTZ! Don't ever let yourself be outshined by Rays closer, and MLB journeyman Kyle Farnsworth (who I detested even in my youth as a Cubs fan cuz he would choke on the mound all the time). Especially him, cuz he can't aim for shit.

I'm sure everyone and their cousin has heard by now that the lady himself, Manny Ramirez, will be retiring from baseball. What I don't know if he's leaving baseball immediately, or if he's waiting for the season to end before throwing in the towel once and for all, but it is confirmed that Manny will be leaving baseball. To him I say "good riddance!". You were good with the Red Sox, but if you hadn't started dicking around with Theo Epstein and the Red Sox' upper-management, perhaps the city of Boston would not be as bitter towards you as they are now. Also, you could have helped win them some more championships, and I would have a better impression of you. Also, using steroids damaged your reputation, as I now think of a set of DD boobs whenever I see you with your disgusting dreadlocks on TV.

The big question regarding Manny's retiring is what to make of his legacy. I say, his career followed the arc of a home run. He started off slow, shot to the top, stayed there, but had to come down and eventually crashed into somebody's beer and nachos. Getting caught with female pregnancy hormones in his system really did a number on his career, both as a player, and socially cuz it turned him into a national punchline.

Before I sign off on this post, I'd like to post a funny video I saw on Terez Owens. I could give a summary of the video, but then you wouldn't want to watch it. I want you to watch this video. It's not lifesaving, but it's funny nonetheless.


Tomorrow is game 3 against the Rays. Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow.


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