Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ding Fries are Dunn

An original cartoon, inspired by a line in the following video, which was later parodied by "Family Guy":


News News News

I'm baaacccckkkkkk!!!! Guess you know what my New Years resolution is gonna be (hint: it involves spending more time blogging about the Sox).

Oh what a chaotic year its been. We brought in the disgustingly-dreadlocked Manny Ramirez in the second half of the season, and he was meh. We also did rather substandard (though not as bad as KC, Detroit, and Cleveland. Those guys REALLYsucked balls!). If there is a good sign in the end of this season, its that we finished in second place as opposed to last (*ahem* KC). Also, the Twins got wiped out of the playoffs in the first round, so that was some comfort and joy to us beleaguered Sox fans.

The offseason has been a rather busy one by any standard. When GM Kenny sees a player he likes, he wastes no time in getting the said player to come and sign with the Sox.

Take Adam Dunn, our most high-profile signing this offseason. Though he is known for his tater-mashing [basically, he hits alot of home runs], I was not sure if signing him was a good idea because Dunn can't play. He used to be a first baseman, but now all he can do is DH. The Sox already had 3 DHs (does the term "musical DH" sound familiar?), so I questioned Kenny's wisdom in acquiring another one. How useful Dunn is to us this year remains to be seen.

We also got rid of that fat dustmop, Bobby Jenks.

From what I'd been able to gather about the Sox, Jenks was really starting to stink up the place. Plus, he and Ozzie were engaged in a bitch-fight, both in person and on Twitter. I don't blame Ozzie for wanting him out. My manager's got already a difficult job to do, and he doesn't need a smartass harping on him all the time. If Ozzie wanted to hear harpies, he's got his kid's Twitter feed to follow.

In a bit of joyous news, my beloved Carlos Quentin got re-signed by the Sox.

$5.05 million for one more year, just avoiding arbitration. Also, one more year of me seeing my favorite player on my favorite team.

Also re-signed: Miracle Man John Danks ($6 million) and Tony Pena ($1.6 million)

In a bit of non Sox-related news: MLB's favorite shit-on-a-stick, Milton Bradley got arrested on a felony charge.

Apparently, he threatened some woman out in CA. Last I checked, Bradley is scheduled to be in court on Feb. 8. Given Bradley's psychotic personality and colorful history in baseball, I'm pretty sure he's kissed his entire MLB career goodbye.

Before I sign off on today's post, I would like to have a final say about the recent tragedy that took place in my city of Tucson, AZ, in which a deranged, drug-addicted young man opened fire on a crowd of people who had gathered in a grocery store parking lot to meet a local congresswoman. 20 people were injured, including the congresswoman (Gabrielle Giffords), and six people died, including a nine-year old girl. I mention the nine-year old girl, named Christina Taylor Green, because she had a connection to baseball, the sport I love so much. As it turns out, her grandfather, Dallas Green, was a manager for the Philadelphia Phillies and led them to a World Series victory in 1980. Christina Green's father was a scout for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and the young girl herself played on the local Little League team out here in Tucson. What happened a week ago on Saturday was truly a tragic incident. May all those affected by this tragedy find ways to heal and overcome the pain from this incident.