Ozzie Sleeps Tonight

We won! Finally, we won that damn series against the Rays once and for all! Gavin Floyd and his Big Hairy Balls pitched well, giving up a run in the 6th, and Joe Maddon got ejected after arguing with the ref.





















Maddon, I've got some advice for you: if you got a beef with a ref, leave that to the pros, like Bobby Cox!


















In scanning the series summaries, I came across this hilarious article on CSN Chicago.


























Mere hours after frustratingly suggesting that he blow the ballpark up rather than send out another pitcher to blow a save, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was eager to see how his team would respond to Friday’s disheartening turn of events.

Though I wouldn't go so far as to suggest blowing up the Cell in order to make my point, I do realize that this is Ozzie Guillen talking, and when he opens his mouth, you just never know whats gonna come out.

“There aren’t too many games I can’t sleep,” Guillen said. “I promised my wife, ‘Listen, I’m not going to drink too much anymore. The season just started.’ [So] I had one drink. [Losses are] part of the game.”

*GULP GULP GULP*

And while you're at it:







“If I’m going to come here with my down, ‘Look what happened last night’ [look], I’m going to suck all my team in,” Guillen said. “No. [Instead my attitude should be] ‘Hey, are we ready to fight today?’ If we lose today, we have to be ready to fight tomorrow. If we lose [while] fighting, I can sleep with that, I can live with that.”


Ok, but that's not the kicker.

So, how did Ozzie sleep last night?

“I slept like a baby: I woke up every two hours and started crying.”


*cymbal crash*


























Ladies and germs, Ozzie Guillen.























So, looking ahead to next week, the A's are coming up. I smell a sweep!

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

Eaten Alive

Unfortunately, we could not keep the momentum going from last night.

Today, my boys in black-and-white coughed it up in the 9th inning after Matt Thornton gave up 5 runs to give the Rays the game. You PUTZ! Don't ever let yourself be outshined by Rays closer, and MLB journeyman Kyle Farnsworth (who I detested even in my youth as a Cubs fan cuz he would choke on the mound all the time). Especially him, cuz he can't aim for shit.
























I'm sure everyone and their cousin has heard by now that the lady himself, Manny Ramirez, will be retiring from baseball. What I don't know if he's leaving baseball immediately, or if he's waiting for the season to end before throwing in the towel once and for all, but it is confirmed that Manny will be leaving baseball. To him I say "good riddance!". You were good with the Red Sox, but if you hadn't started dicking around with Theo Epstein and the Red Sox' upper-management, perhaps the city of Boston would not be as bitter towards you as they are now. Also, you could have helped win them some more championships, and I would have a better impression of you. Also, using steroids damaged your reputation, as I now think of a set of DD boobs whenever I see you with your disgusting dreadlocks on TV.
























The big question regarding Manny's retiring is what to make of his legacy. I say, his career followed the arc of a home run. He started off slow, shot to the top, stayed there, but had to come down and eventually crashed into somebody's beer and nachos. Getting caught with female pregnancy hormones in his system really did a number on his career, both as a player, and socially cuz it turned him into a national punchline.























Before I sign off on this post, I'd like to post a funny video I saw on Terez Owens. I could give a summary of the video, but then you wouldn't want to watch it. I want you to watch this video. It's not lifesaving, but it's funny nonetheless.


 


Tomorrow is game 3 against the Rays. Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

Back to Business

And with that, the 2011 season is in full-swing.

It's been a pretty good, no, a DAMN good start to the 2011 season for my boys in black-and-white. We won on Opening Day, giving the Indians a thorough throttling and winning our first series of the season.


















Unfortunately, we also split with KC, but that's ok-new series, new start!


Today was the home opener, and Edwin Jackson gave a spectacular performance by going 8 innings, 13 Ks, and 1 walk. It was the highlight to a chilly, cloudy day in Chicago. The Rays, on the other hand, only managed 1 run in the 3rd inning, and after that, they were completely shut down by Jackson's devastating slider. And in a shocking twist of fate, the once mighty Rays are now 0-6. Suck on that, you ESPN snobs!






























But perhaps the best news of all involves none other than my favorite player, the one and only Carlos Quentin. He's been on fire for the past few games, knocking in home runs and RBIs left and right.




























I knew it! Carlos was just waiting to explode in productivity if given the right conditions! Now that he's healthy, he's unstoppable-just like in 2008 when I first saw him play. Also on a positive note-as far as I know, he hasn't been hit by a pitch yet!





















If my boy keeps this up, he'll be an MVP, hands down. And who knows, if he becomes an MVP, maybe Kenny will finally sign him to that long-term contract.



















(Cartoon courtesy of Carl Skanberg)


Tomorrow is day 2 of the series with the Gays. Expect another ass-whuppin', courtesy of John Danks-the Miracle Man.





























On a more serious note, Adam "Ding Fries are Dunn" is still out, recovering from his appendectomy, but is expected to return soon-likely Friday. While I'm glad to know that Dunn is almost recovered, I'm a little concerned because we paid an arm and a leg for this crystal chandelier! I remember when my dad told me that we'd re-signed Dunn, and I proceeded to ask if Kenny had finally gone bonkers. As far as I was concerned, Adam Dunn was too old and too useless cuz he couldn't play anything else except DH, and we already had a whole slew of DHs. Anybody with any sliver of business sense knows that its unwise to invest in something that's spent to the point of no return.






























*Sigh*

Tough as it may be sometimes, I trust my GM. And my manager, Ozzie, no matter how much of a headache he gives the PR Department.























In honor of my favorite player's hot start, here's a commercial from 2009, showing off his sweet hitting skills. Enjoy!



GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam