Thursday, October 22, 2009

Ozzie in Color

Here's a bit of a shocker!

After coming back to the bunker from a long day in the labs, I turned on the ALCS (Angels currently ahead 7-6 in the top of the 8th), and sat down in front of my computer with a bag of popcorn to catch up on tonight's headlines when I came across this story on "big league stew".

It appears that Fox has hired my crazy manager Ozzie Guillen to do color commentary alongside Ma and Pa themselves, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. Though I don't mind Joe Buck, Tim McCarver can be a bit irritating. And now there's my crazy manager to add some actual life into the broadcasting!

This could prove to be an interesting experiment. Most of America has never heard my manager speak. His thick Spanish accent could cause some losses in translation for mainstream ears. Also, most people don't know how foul-mouthed my manager is. Those of us in Chicago, as well as some sports fans know, but not everyone is a sports fan and not everyone cares about my home city, so this could be the equivalent of a rude awakening for some fans. But I think this is a good thing-it would certainly bring the ratings up.

Either 'Duk (the writer of "big league stew") or one of his commenters said that as soon as the Series is underway, Ozzie will be making comments like "I wish I had Ryan Howard playing first base for me" and stuff like that which will translate into slights against the Sox. Well, if that's the case, it's the problem of a zealous sportswriter. Other than that, when the teams mess up on something, Ozzie might unleash one of his notorious tirades and say things that are not suitable for public consumption. Be prepared for alot of "bleeps" and "technical difficulties" that take place during a trademark Guillen tirade.

But I wish my manager the best. Maybe he's found himself a new post-season job that doesn't involve calling out players for their shortfalls.

Just fresh off the TV: Angels win game 5 of the ALCS 7-6 over the Yankees! Brian Fuentes, the Angel's closer bumped off the first 2 he faced in the 9th, but couldn't find the strike zone later on and loaded up the bases. Fortunately, he got the late Nick Swisher (wonder what Ozzie will say about him if the Yankees win on Saturday night and progress to the World Series) to pop up.

I'm rooting for the Angels. I'm sick of seeing the Yankees in the post-season.

Go Angels! 2 more games to go! If the Marlins could do it in 2003, so can you guys!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Podsie-Pan's Dear John Letter

Well, our season has thankfully come to an end. To be honest, I'd all but stopped watching baseball b/c school was getting more and more demanding, and the Sox started to suck so bad.

But at least the Twinkies blew up the Metrodome. We never had much luck up there in that infernal dome.

Now to the story of the day. Written by the authors at southside sox, is Scott Podsednik's "Dear John" letter. As we all know, the "Dear John" letter is a letter given by someone to their significant other, stating that the relationship didn't work out for various reasons.

Podsie, this one's for you.

Dear Scott --

I know we usually call you 'Scotty Pods' or 'Peter Pan' or some other cute nickname like that, but we didn't feel it was appropriate for a letter of such importance.

This is gonna be hard for us to say. I mean we really like you... even if you do get on our nerves with all your poor defensive routes and frustratingly inept baserunning blunders. But, well, we just don't want you to be one of our starting outfielders next year, and we could never picture a future for the White Sox with you in the DH role. It would be terrible if we let a little thing like a few million dollars, a few hundred at-bats and starting position come between us. We knew you would understand. You always do.

You've always been there for us, and we love you for that. Remember when Bobby blew the lead in game 2 and you bitchmade Brad Lidge? or just this season when we were feeling down, and didn't have a single outfielder who could field the ball and hold his own at the plate for any extended period of time? You were there for us, and it means the world to us. Really, it does. I don't think we could ever truly express what our time together has meant to us.

But there comes a time in every relationship when you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself 'Where is this going? Is there really any future for us?' Unfortunately, we just don't think of you that way. We're sorry. At this point in our relationship, we're just looking for different things. We want a championship contender and you want playing time and a place in our starting lineup; those two objectives would seem to be mutually exclusive.

You can still be our 4th outfielder. You really are the best 4th outfielder we've ever had, and we'd hate to lose that, especially over a silly thing like playing time.

Your stutter step will always make us smile. You're grindy and all the girls think you're cute. You should have no trouble finding yourself another team. But please know we will always be here, willing to give you a minor league contract and a non-roster invite.

Your Biggest Fans

And in other news, the late Dewayne Wise opted for free agency. Don't expect him back next year. As for the late great Jim Thome, his dodgers are down 2 games to the Phillies (and getting ass-raped 11-0 by the Phillies last night didn't exactly help either). Though I'd like to see the Phillies kick the Yankees' asses in the World Series (despite my hopes that the Angels will hold out and at least take one game), I would prefer to see Jim Thome get to the World Series. The man is long overdue for a ring.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

crucial updates

hi everyone!

it's been a while since i've written last, but i've been busy with class.

so lets see, whats been going on in white sox nation...well, diva jake peavy finally got around to starting for us. he did good, but unfortunately, it was too little too late. yeah, my white sox are completely eliminated for any hopes of playoff contention. what a dismal season indeed.

but because its not over till its over, we can still have a decision over who can clinch the AL central. as of yesterday, it looks like detroit is gonna win the AL central. its a damn shame, but given our underperformance this year, the punishment is more than fitting for our lack of effort.

in a weekly post on my other site, more hardball, there came the stunning revelation about 2 weeks ago that my GM kenny williams had given not just himself, but also all the coaches on our staff, contract extensions. now, if we'd had a good year, i would be ok with it. but since we had a crappy year, white sox nation is looking at kenny like he's bonkers. earlier in the year, he threw jim thome and jose contreras under the bus (and out to the NL west), with paul konerko, JD, and the dustmop soon to follow. isn't it common sense that rewarding failure breeds more failure? someone better tell kenny that there's no bailout coming from obama, even though he and kenny are BFFs. besides, most of our coaches have been with us since 2005 and are past their expiration dates. some fresh blood wouldn't be a bad idea.

and in other news, obama has flown to copenhagen on our tab to appeal to attempt to bring the 2016 olympics to chicago, only to be bitch-slapped by the olympic committee and denied. though i am from chicago, i am quite overjoyed at our failure because it is no more than a giant payoff for the daley cronies and union thugs.

thats it for now.