Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Dugout: Won't Someone Think of the Hispanic Children

Sorry for the long break. So much has happened since my last post.

But in the meantime, Ozzie makes another appearance on The Dugout

The Dugout: Won't Someone Think of the Hispanic Children


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Crazy Ozzie Strikes Again

Things have been bad on the Southside. REALLY bad. By the end of April, beginning of May, we were in last place. Though we've improved substantially over the course of the month, moving up to third place, we're still not where we should be.

Last night during a game in Cleveland, my crazy manager Ozzie Guillen and Mark Buehrle got into a spat with New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan's long-lost twin, ump Joe West. The spat let to BOTH manager and pitcher getting ejected. After the game, Ozzie had a few choice words for the portly ref.

There will most certainly be a fine from this. I can hear the dollar signs cha-chinging in Bud Selig's brain with this outburst from Ozzie.

Mark Buehrle wasn't too pleased with Joe West either. His comments were more civil than Ozzie's, however, saying that West should focus more on umping than promoting his latest country album (apparently, MLB doesn't pay their officiating staff enough money, so this one had to go out and moonlight as a country singer to make some extra cash).

But before he was tossed out of the game, Ozzie signed this ball for some Cleveland fan.

Side 1

Side 2

Message: "Bye bye Lebron, lol/When are you going to win anything in sports? Please."

Ladies and germs, Ozzie Guillen.

Go White Sox!!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Dugout: Know Your Popular Culture

Buerhle, Justin Beiber, and crazy Ozzie meet for a long-overdue edition of "The Dugout"

The Dugout: Know Your Popular Culture


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Stinkin' Indians

We lost.

In extra innings.

How did we get there? Let's recap.

The game started out fairly well. BHB (Big Hairy Balls, in case you may have forgotten, nickname for pitcher Gavin Floyd) was facing the Indians' ace, Justin Masterson. BHB would go on to pitch for 6 innings, giving up 2 runs, 5 hits, 3 walks, and striking out 7 Indians. Not a bad way to start off your first game of the season. However, it was a no-decision.

But the hero of the game for my side was none other than my boy Carlos Quentin.

Carlos put most of the White Sox's points on the board with a drawn walk in the 4th to score Juan Pierre, and then later on, Carlos had his first HR of the season-a 2-run bombshell in the 7th to put the Sox up 3-2.

However, none of this was enough to stop the Indians. They tied in the 8th, and this sent the game into extra innings. In the 11th, the Indians scored 2 runs and won. JJ Putz got the loss, and was rightfully mobbed for it (actually, this is an old picture from his days in Seattle, but I just had to bring it out).

Get it? Blood and Putz!

*ducks as head of lettuce comes flying out of computer screen*

*missed by rotten tomatoes*

*bottle of salad dressing*

**Dammit! Where did all these rotten vegetables come from?!**


Despite losing their opening series for the 5th straight time in a row, the fellas at my favorite recap site South Side Sox had a MS Paint face-off. Here are some of their works. Link to site to see the rest will be provided at the end of the exhibit.

First up: Andruw Jones


Next: JD 2010

Sorry JD-I couldn't resist. You're unemployed and sitting at home while we're all playing baseball. If you wanted to keep playing, you shoulda took up that offer from the Cubs...

Batting third: BA and Southpaw

I know, it's gay, but BA was fun while he was here in Chicago. The bars on Rush St. in Chicago loved it when he came. Your patronage will be missed (your playing, not so much!)

Hitting cleanup: a MODEST BHB pic of Gavin Floyd

Not bad, eh?

Finally: Steve Stone "Pony"

DO NOT BE ALARMED BY THIS DISTURBING PHOTO!! Steve Stone is a broadcaster for the Chicago White Sox, right alongside the famous Hawk Harrelson.

For more fun MS paint pix of the White Sox, go HERE

That's all for tonight folks!


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Poop n' Peavy

Well, after an unexpected off-day (you just try following a Midwest team from a completely different region! Blackouts, rain delays, scheduling hiccups, and other stuff will throw you off!) our newly slimmed down diva pitcher Jake Peavy got the call to start today.

The result: a no-decision for Peavy, but the Sox lost 5-3. Instead, setup man Randy Williams gets the loss while Cleveland's Fausto Carmona gets the win.

According to my boys at South Side Sox, Peavy had had a fairly good day. He pitched 5 full innings with 7 hits, three runs, and 5 Ks.

As Peavy's numbers prelude, the Sox were outhit a mind-boggling 10-2. Chicago's lone 2 hits were a single by A.J Pierzynski, and a 2-run HR by Paulie, following a walk by my boy, Carlos Quentin.

I should make that picture of CQ the wallpaper on my phone, lol :D.

As for the rest of the staff, our favorite Frenchman, Juan Pierre, stole 2 bases in the 1st inning, Alex Rios has been "meh" so far (yes, I know it's early in the season, but still-he struck out when he could have scored!), and Paulie was the player of the game with his HR and a sac-fly that put the Sox up 1-0 in the first.

Fausto Carmona had his stuff today, unfortunately.

Better luck tomorrow, I guess.

Speaking of tomorrow-Gavin Floyd gets the call to start! He'll be facing Justin Masterson. This should be a good one!

And in other Sox news, President Obama made headlines recently when he couldn't name a single White Sox player that he liked. Talk about an epic FAIL.

Instead of admitting he had no favorite player on a team he claimed to be a fan of, Bamster pulled a Grandpa-at-Thanksgiving and went into a rambling diatribe. Mr. President-have you no wit? At the very least, you could have said Mark Buerhle, and no one would have thought twice about it! Now your gaffe will live in cyber history forever (thank GOD for Youtube!)

To end tonight's post, I include another priceless quote from my crazy manager, Ozzie Guillen: "Goo luck to my guys for a great summer and all the venezuelan player even the ones I hate to death" (Posted on 4/5 at 5:38 AM).

Ozzie Guillen and Twitter-a match made in heaven (or hell if you're Kenny Williams).

Good night everyone!


Monday, April 5, 2010

Opening Day

Sorry I've neglected this blog for so long! But with today being Opening Day, I had to post at least a few words!

We kicked off the season, at home, against the Cleveland Indians. Mark Buerhle was our starter. Unfortunately, the game aired on ESPN 2, out of my region, and while I was in class (THANK YOU CABLE TV!! *sarcasm*).

Fortunately, there is the recap! And with recap comes highlights!

Only today, the first day of a new season, Mark Buerhle made the play of the year. In the 5th inning, Buerhle knocked the ball with his foot, chased it past the 1st base line, and managed to swipe it and hike it, almost, between his legs to a barehanded Paul Konerko at first base to get the runner out.

Here is the video. It's incredible!

Thank God that Mark Buehrle is on our team. Maybe he should consider a second career as an infielder (or a football center) after this play!

In other news, my boy Carlos Quentin made it to base his 1st 3 at-bats, Gordon Beckham was swiping bases left and right (well, left technically cuz that's where 3rd base is!), JJ Putz did setup and Matt Thornton closed out.

End result: Sox win 6-0 over the Indians.

What a way to kick off the 2010 season!


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

Start of Spring Training

I would have posted this last Sunday, but my computer had an epic meltdown and is now in the shop, getting fixed.

From my little desert lair, I officially kick off White Sox Spring Training.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Ozzie on Twitter

Guess what?! Our favorite manager is now on Twitter!! Now, people get to hear more memorable quotes from my crazy manager. Ozzie hasn't been completely technologically isolated to this point, (he writes a bi-weekly column in Spanish on but this is his first official social networking site.

So now that Ozzie's on twitter, let's take a peek at what he's said so far (or at least what Ozzie Jr. and Oney have been writing in place of their dad when he's too busy swearing at the press to post):

  • 2/23/10: finally I am on this twitter thing it's about time!
  • 2/23/10: what I saw on the field today was a lot of grass...
  • 2/23/10: 3 day of Spring Training and im already boreddddddd
  • 2/23/10: going to eat in half hour why dye no have a job ? (my personal favorite)
  • 2/23/10: Iam tired from bad very bad golf
  • 2/24/10 (last update as of this posting): Un saludo a mi gente latina gracias por el apoyo especial a mi pais venezuela pero no sabia que me traia dolres de cabeza con la gente (rough translation: Greetings to my fellow Latinos thanks for this special opportunity to my country of Venezuela but I don't know why these people give me a headache)
I guess it's him-the poor grammar says a great deal.

To Oney and Ozzie Jr: If you're reading this, for the love of God, DO NOT edit your dad's profanity-laced comments!! They make for good page-fillers on a slow news day, and bring me a little taste of home since I am a transplant, like many of my fellow Chicagoans.

Stay tuned for more colorful quotes from my manager in the months to come.


Friday, February 19, 2010

Spring Fever

With Spring Training just around the corner, we still have a few things to take care of before the season starts.

For 1 thing, we have new positions for some of our favorite players! Gordy Beckham will be moving from 3rd to 2nd base, and my beloved Carlos Quentin (who has recovered from plantar faciitis, a sore knee, a sore back, and his infamous wrist injury from 2008, and looks ready to go) will no longer be relegated to left field. Now, my boy will be manning right field. As for our favorite dustmop, Bobby Jenks, he appears to be satisfied and healthy for the upcoming season.

Oy, I am just bursting with excitement at the prospect of seeing all my favorite players again!

Speaking of players, looks like Johnny Damon will not be joining the White Sox this year. According to, Kenny has withdrawn his offer, a reported 1-yr, $6 million contract, from the devil himself, Scott Boras. Kenny says he's waiting for the price of Damon to go down before he reconsiders courting Damon, but it's known that Kenny and Boras aren't exactly on good terms. The two have had issues in the past (and since Boras is the devilish king of sports agents, it's a wonder how not every GM has a target painted on Boras' back), but they appear to be reconciling.

That's all for tonight! More to come as the info becomes available!


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Fat Tuesday Fill-up

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! I hope that the grocery stores out here have paczkis (they're these Polish doughnuts that go on sale on Fat Tuesday), but since I'm in the desert and there are no Polish people out here, I doubt it (plenty of Mexicans though, but not that there's anything wrong with that. Wonder what they have for Fat Tuesday fare...). Normally, I don't eat doughnuts, but I'll put aside my diet restrictions for these. As a transplant, the loss of local culture is something I must frequently cope with.

So lets see, Omar Vizquel gets to wear Luis Aparacio's old number 11. It was brought out of retirement just for him. There wasn't a whole lot made about this story, but then again, what's the big deal about it?

Here's a big story! JD might be retiring! Frank Thomas, who I vaguely recall from my youth, has recently retired (or something like that. He's been outta baseball for a long time) and had a conversation with JD. JD told Frank that if the right offer doesn't come along, he will retire. With Spring Training around the corner and JD still has no prospects, retirement might actually not be a bad idea. Although JD is just 36, he's had a good career.

But thats not to say that JD's had a miserable offseason, waiting for a contract to come along. He rejected a 1-yr, $3.3 million offer from the Cubs, but the Atlanta Braves are still interested in his services. With pitchers and catchers reporting to Camelback Ranch next week for Spring Training, time is running out.

And this is your Fat Tuesday fill-up!

Happy Mardi Gras everyone!


Saturday, February 6, 2010

Unsteady Freddy

Check out this video of one of out starting pitchers, Freddy Garcia, at Soxfest, saying some not-so-nice words for the rival Cubs.

According to Deadspin, where I found this video, Freddy was just a weeee bit sloshed when the infamous "F*CK the Cubs, muthaf*cker!!" phrase was uttered.

Wait, Kenny, you mean this raging alcoholic is our replacement for Jose Contreras?! Though his age is uncertain, Jose kept somewhat of a low profile. Freddy, on the other hand, has had multiple run-ins with the law (including one infamous incident in Venezuela where he beat up his wife).

This is gonna be a long season...


Friday, January 29, 2010

Jim Thome is a Twin

There's a headline not many people in White Sox Nation ever thought they'd see.

The story is true. Jim Thome is indeed a Minnesota Twin. They signed him for 1 year, $1.6 million.

In response to this unsettling bit of news, my favorite cartoonist, Carl Skanberg came up with this cartoon (the shirtless guy is a Chicago Blackhawks hockey player named Jonathan Toews who got in trouble for a DUI).

**Image courtesy of Carl Skanberg**

If it's any consolation, we in White Sox Nation can rest a little easier with the knowledge that Thome hasn't got much left in the tank.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Thome or not Thome

So in the course of this busy offseason, we have aquired Omar Vizquel-a 43 yr old wonderboy, avoided arbitration with that fat dustmop Bobby Jenks (although he reportedly slimmed down alot since the end of the season, so now I might have to just call him a dustmop. Wonder if Bartolo "Fatso" Colon took any hints too) and my boy Carlos Quentin. JD might be going to the Cubs (NOO!!), and we officially have no DH now that Thome is gone.

But this gaping hole at DH is precisely the topic for today's post.

"Big League Stew" says that Ozzie intends to use a rotation of Vizquel, Mark Kotsay, and newcomer Andruw Jones in the DH slot. The reason for this, according to the Sun Times, is that if needed, Vizquel, Kotsay, and Jones can pick up a glove and play defense. Thome will be 40 in August, and is clearly well past his playing days, but was our most productive hitter over the course of the mediocre 2009 season. Now that the Dodgers have released Thome, and no one has picked him up so far, big Jim just might come back to the AL central, but as a dreaded Twin or Tiger.

As a loyal White Sox fan, I would excore Kenny Williams to pick up Jim Thome. But reality says that even if we did pick him up, where would we put him? With the whole concept of a rotating DH, Thome might sit on the bench for days at a time, and then get grilled by the media for not playing. And as even the most dimwitted of economists knows, it's never a good idea to waste money on something that doesn't produce its value.

BLS speculates that because the Sox don't look like they want Thome back, we just may as well have traded away our shot at winning the AL Central. Of course, it's early in the season, so there is still the possibility that we'll be fine, provided Alex Rios, my boy, and Mark Teahan all have career seasons. If not, Kenny's got some explaining to do...

Yet in spite of all these concerns and unknowns, I trust Ozzie and Kenny. Don't forget, there's still Spring Training, so if our rotating DH doesn't work out as planned, it's still not too late to go after Thome!



Monday, January 25, 2010

The Dugout: Thome In Minnesota

I know, it's been a while since my last post.

So much has happened since then, and I've been in White Sox hibernation for the past few months, but now that Spring Training is just around the corner, I promise I'll get back to business like a good journalist should.

I thought I'd start out my first entry of the new year with a piece from my favorite spoof site, The Dugout.

According to MLB fanhouse, the dreaded Minnestota Twins are looking to snag Jim Thome!

Here's The Dugout's take on it.

The Dugout: Thome In Minnesota