Monday, October 19, 2009

Podsie-Pan's Dear John Letter

Well, our season has thankfully come to an end. To be honest, I'd all but stopped watching baseball b/c school was getting more and more demanding, and the Sox started to suck so bad.

But at least the Twinkies blew up the Metrodome. We never had much luck up there in that infernal dome.

Now to the story of the day. Written by the authors at southside sox, is Scott Podsednik's "Dear John" letter. As we all know, the "Dear John" letter is a letter given by someone to their significant other, stating that the relationship didn't work out for various reasons.

Podsie, this one's for you.

Dear Scott --

I know we usually call you 'Scotty Pods' or 'Peter Pan' or some other cute nickname like that, but we didn't feel it was appropriate for a letter of such importance.

This is gonna be hard for us to say. I mean we really like you... even if you do get on our nerves with all your poor defensive routes and frustratingly inept baserunning blunders. But, well, we just don't want you to be one of our starting outfielders next year, and we could never picture a future for the White Sox with you in the DH role. It would be terrible if we let a little thing like a few million dollars, a few hundred at-bats and starting position come between us. We knew you would understand. You always do.

You've always been there for us, and we love you for that. Remember when Bobby blew the lead in game 2 and you bitchmade Brad Lidge? or just this season when we were feeling down, and didn't have a single outfielder who could field the ball and hold his own at the plate for any extended period of time? You were there for us, and it means the world to us. Really, it does. I don't think we could ever truly express what our time together has meant to us.

But there comes a time in every relationship when you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself 'Where is this going? Is there really any future for us?' Unfortunately, we just don't think of you that way. We're sorry. At this point in our relationship, we're just looking for different things. We want a championship contender and you want playing time and a place in our starting lineup; those two objectives would seem to be mutually exclusive.

You can still be our 4th outfielder. You really are the best 4th outfielder we've ever had, and we'd hate to lose that, especially over a silly thing like playing time.

Your stutter step will always make us smile. You're grindy and all the girls think you're cute. You should have no trouble finding yourself another team. But please know we will always be here, willing to give you a minor league contract and a non-roster invite.

Your Biggest Fans

And in other news, the late Dewayne Wise opted for free agency. Don't expect him back next year. As for the late great Jim Thome, his dodgers are down 2 games to the Phillies (and getting ass-raped 11-0 by the Phillies last night didn't exactly help either). Though I'd like to see the Phillies kick the Yankees' asses in the World Series (despite my hopes that the Angels will hold out and at least take one game), I would prefer to see Jim Thome get to the World Series. The man is long overdue for a ring.

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