Unsteady Freddy

Check out this video of one of out starting pitchers, Freddy Garcia, at Soxfest, saying some not-so-nice words for the rival Cubs.




According to Deadspin, where I found this video, Freddy was just a weeee bit sloshed when the infamous "F*CK the Cubs, muthaf*cker!!" phrase was uttered.

Wait, Kenny, you mean this raging alcoholic is our replacement for Jose Contreras?! Though his age is uncertain, Jose kept somewhat of a low profile. Freddy, on the other hand, has had multiple run-ins with the law (including one infamous incident in Venezuela where he beat up his wife).




































This is gonna be a long season...

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

crucial updates

hi everyone!

it's been a while since i've written last, but i've been busy with class.

so lets see, whats been going on in white sox nation...well, diva jake peavy finally got around to starting for us. he did good, but unfortunately, it was too little too late. yeah, my white sox are completely eliminated for any hopes of playoff contention. what a dismal season indeed.

but because its not over till its over, we can still have a decision over who can clinch the AL central. as of yesterday, it looks like detroit is gonna win the AL central. its a damn shame, but given our underperformance this year, the punishment is more than fitting for our lack of effort.

in a weekly post on my other site, more hardball, there came the stunning revelation about 2 weeks ago that my GM kenny williams had given not just himself, but also all the coaches on our staff, contract extensions. now, if we'd had a good year, i would be ok with it. but since we had a crappy year, white sox nation is looking at kenny like he's bonkers. earlier in the year, he threw jim thome and jose contreras under the bus (and out to the NL west), with paul konerko, JD, and the dustmop soon to follow. isn't it common sense that rewarding failure breeds more failure? someone better tell kenny that there's no bailout coming from obama, even though he and kenny are BFFs. besides, most of our coaches have been with us since 2005 and are past their expiration dates. some fresh blood wouldn't be a bad idea.

and in other news, obama has flown to copenhagen on our tab to appeal to attempt to bring the 2016 olympics to chicago, only to be bitch-slapped by the olympic committee and denied. though i am from chicago, i am quite overjoyed at our failure because it is no more than a giant payoff for the daley cronies and union thugs.

thats it for now.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

bye bye jim and jose

the things coming out of my manager, kenny williams' head are getting crazier and crazier! someone oughtta start my GM back on his anti-OCD pills!

first, he practically ripped up the system to get diva jake peavy (who's now on the DL with elbow problems-nice going kenny!), then he got alex rios and mark kotsay, now in perhaps the biggest shocker of the year, jose contreras gets traded to the rockies, and

JI

JIM THOME

(if you read my "dugout" links that i post up here, that is how jim thome announces his arrival at the chatroom)

got traded to the los angeles dodgers! yes, you read that right! big jim thome has gone to LA. since LA is obviously gonna make the playoffs, big jim's chance of getting a world series ring before he retires is greater out there than back here in chi-town. what the dodgers plan to do with jim, since he's too old to really do anything, remains to be seen. i wasn't too surprised about contreras leaving, since he's pretty much done for, but i was shocked that jim would leave us.

in light of this shocking trade, i'd like to say thank you to jim and jose. though you've both seen better days, i'd like to thank you for your years of service and may you find success in your new cities of employment.

in a fitting tribute on southside sox, user madopal had this to say:

JI
JIM,
ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW YOUR ACTIONS INADVERTENTLY RUINED THE DAY OF RENOWNED OPERA SINGER ENRICO PALLAZZO

YOU WILL BE MIST, YOU BIG TATER.

and in reply, user boejouma replied:

IM AFRAID THE DAMAGE IS QUITE SEVERE
to all of our hearts

goodbye everyone. ps-sox lose yet again. we're now 6 games back. what a miserable season this turned out to be.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

2010 pie

fresh from southside sox. this little ditty (ripped off from "american pie") pretty much sums up our whole season

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember How spring training used to make me smile.
And I knew the boys had a chance
To make it to the Autumn Dance
And, maybe, stick around for a while.

But late August made me shiver
With every loss they delivered.
Bad news on the front page;
No more hope at this stage.
I laughed so hard I almost cried
When I read the dumb shit about pride,
Turned off the games and went outside
The day the season died.

So bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye.
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Did you think we'd rise above,
And did you have faith in Fields' glove,
Because Cora tells you so?
Do you believe who they put out,
Goggles, The Bridge, all those shut outs,
And poor Q! limping off the field real slow?

Well, there was the Colon experiment,
We all know how awesome that went.
Him and the Count just shat the bed,
How many innings will DJ get?

We called up a Georgia broncin buck
Tore the stitches off after initial suck,
But even He couldn't save this clusterfuck
The day the season died.

I started singin "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Now last year we got the Central crown
Stood to repeat since the rest are down,
But it just wasn't meant to be.
When you trot out Gobble, Broadway, and Nessie,
Plus Linebrink shits bricks for all to see,
At least there was perfection from Buehrle...

Oh, and then The Ace got knocked around,
After another seventeen sat down.
Danks' shakiness returned,
Was shutdown or got burned.
And while Floyd's been solid down the stretch,
There were points where he'd make you wretch,
Wise ensured legacy with The Catch.
But still, the season died.

We were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Defense melted in a summer swelter,
Bullpen giving up bombs; better seek shelter,
Just two back then falling fast.
Last games on dome's fake-ass grass
The old guys tried for one last gasp,
People shout to stop living in the past.

Now the trade deadline was taken shrewd,
We locked up Peavy and that Rios dude.
We want to go to The Dance,
Oh, but we screw up every chance!
'cause the facepalm lineups take the field;
Runners the pitching would always yield.
Errors galore, their fate was sealed.
The day the season died.

We were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Oh, for the day they were in first place,
Instead of Pods out there with bad breaks
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Pods be nimble, Pods be quick!
Pods picked off like a dumb prick
Cause the devil's gonna collect, my friend.

Oh, and Ozzie kept Alex in a cage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No snowball's chance in hell
Could break the doghouse spell.
And as Sox fans argue into the night
About when Peavy's start is right,
The offense loses all its fight
The day the season died.

They were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Next year we'll get a healthy Q!,
A Savior with less defense miscues,
Some contracts will be turned away.
A shakeup in the lineup core
Can't play the same guys as years before,
No sense paying them for declining play.

And on the nets: commenters screamed,
The kittehs cried, dumb statements reamed.
The right rail was a joke and
"No subject lines" verboten.
And the one guy that I like most:
Sat at home, bored, career is toast.
Sign Frank so he ends as a Pale Hose
Now that the season's died.

And we'll be singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

We'll be singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

indeed, what a miserable season it was.
GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

crucial updates

despite my long absence, there are some crucial updates to be made:

1. i have been granted an opportunity to contribute to a popular baseball blog. the editors of "more hardball", gm_carson and burton, have invited me to contribute articles to their blog. since theirs is an all-around baseball blog, i can't do the in-depth analysis of my white sox that i normally engage in over here at cell's bells. however, i can contribute some of my more quirky items, like "the dugout" (which hasn't been working since i've returned from vacation), and random quotes by my loudmouth manager ozzie, the latter of which should prove useful talking materials.

my point is, do not fear that i will abandon cell's bells. i will continue to post enteries here, but now you can catch me elsewhere.

2. the entire reason for this blog's existance: THE WHITE SOX!!! i've all but neglected them!

things have not been well for my boys in black-and-white as of late. they played well against the angels while i was in CA, but upon arriving home, things just dropped off. though john danks pitched the game of his career against seattle on tuesday, and got the win, but they split the series with the mariners. today, they played the As. contreras was due to pitch today, and did, but blew a 6-run lead. last i checked the As and sox were tied at 7 in the bottom of the 8th. since mark kotsay used to play for the As, i wonder if they gave him a happy homecoming.

in light of jose contreras' return to rock-bottom, i wonder when diva jake peavy is due to begin pitching for us...

thats all for now. i returned an hour ago from the dodgers-diamondbacks game here in AZ. d-backs won and dan haren pitched very well. so well, he had the balls to hit andre ethier with manny ramirez coming up in the 7th. both men got out. the snakes lit up starter clayton kershaw in the 2nd, putting on 4 straight runs. if they'd scored 2 more, the taco bells down here in AZ would have given away 3 free tacos with the purchase of a large drink and showing your ticket stub. but alas it was not to be. you could smell the tacos, but the taco bell was closed :(.

as for that diva manny, chase field got especially noisy when he came up to bat. i booed, LA fans cheered. its a damn shame manny had to get busted for taking HCG, cuz i really think he would have looked nice with the boobs he aquired from using that hormone. it would work well with his disgusting dreadlocks.

and despite the obnoxiousness of dodger fans, todays game was a reminder as to why i love baseball so much. there was great pitching, spectacular catches, a defense that knew what it was doing, steals that required balls of steel to pull off, a charged atmosphere, and the fans behaved themselves for the most part.

thats all for tonight.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

the week in review

dearest reader(s),

im so sorry that i haven't been able to write about my boys in black-and-white. its just that this week, i started working at a greek nursing home (currently, its just volunteering, but that could soon change since my supervisor told me about a program that pays you for volunteering). i work everyday for about 4 hours, just babysitting old people. its not too bad, i just help the aides with activities and shuffling the farts around. my only problem is that i dont speak greek, and while i've picked up a few words (they call me "kuklamu", which means "doll"-or "sweetheart", and i also learned "ela" which means "come"), im largely clueless as to what is being said when greek is spoken.

consequently, i havent been able to watch baseball AT ALL this week. but since tonight's game is on cable, and i dont work today, i will do a recap of the week.

last weekend and into monday, the detroit tigers came to town. and with them, former sock and communist shemale magglio ordonez (at least thats what the sports gossip forums say) returned to face his old manager whom he disputed with at the end of his season with the sox. magglio also got a haircut (finally), but the sox won that series.

on tuesday, the dodgers came to chicago for 3 games. after dropping game 1 to the dodgers, the sox managed to win the last 2. game 2 was a blowout, and game three was much closer, but it was a last-minute victory for the sox after jim thome (who's been on a hot streak) hit an RBI to win it. aside from beating the best team in baseball, ozzie guillen blew some steam at the team for their lackluster offense in his usual postgame press conference.

yesterday, the cubs came to the cell. the newly-revamped jose contreras was pitching and although he gave up 3 runs, he had 8Ks-which is pretty good any day. the sox almost came back to win it in the 8th, but the cubs pitchers shut them down.

and in other news, the fucktard milton bradley is in trouble-again. after popping out in the 6th, bradley threw a terrible tantrum in the dugout-throwing his helmet and destroying a water cooler (perhaps channeling zambrano and dempster's reactions to bad outings), prompting equally-hotheaded manager, lou pinella to send him home. though i dont care for the cubs 1 way or another, me and just about every sports reporter in the city thinks it was a bad idea for the cubs to sign this douchebag. looks like it's gonna be another lackluster year for this guy.

to the west coast: manny is almost ready to return. he would have returned on wednesday, but a storm delayed the game, and subsequently his return. in the words of conan o'brian, "manny will now soon be the first player to hit for the menstrual cycle" (get it-he used female fertility drugs...)

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

happy father's day!

hi everyone!

first of all, to all few guys who read my blog at this end of the internet, i want to wish you a very happy father's day!

hoo-boy! have we been busy! the crosstown classic was split after game 1 was rained out. john danks DID, however, pitch the next day against ryan "the canadian" dempster of the cubs. danks did a spectacular job-8 innings of scoreless baseball. dempster, on the other hand, gave up 2 runs and the cubs bullpen gave up 2 MORE runs later on. scott linebrink, who's been struggling lately, gave up 1 run in the 9th, but matt thornton finished it for us. final score: sox-4, cubs-1.

game 3 was on cable. gavin floyd and his BHB was pitching against the mighty carlos zambrano of the cubs. BHB did pretty well (zambrano, not so much), and the sox led for most of the game, but in the 9th, derek lee of the cubs hit a home run to win it.

things haven't been well since then. after the cubs, it was off to cincinnati to play the reds. jose contreras faced off bronson arroyo. contreras did ok, but the bullpen blew it. we lost 3-4.

yesterday, however, it was better. clayton richard faced some fella named johnny cueto. we did much better and won 10-8.

today, mark buehrle faces off against danny harang (also known as "harangutang", get it...?). when i checked the score, it was 2-0 sox in the top of the 1st.

and in other news, those damn cubs are doing better and better. they've beat the indians twice already, including former players mark derosa and kerry wood. both victories were also come-from-behinds, normally in the 9th (and often won in extra innings). on our side, fat bartolo's on the DL. knee problems listed, but i think ozzie needed a legitimate reason to bench him. as you all know, fatso's been having some problems throwing the ball in the strike zone.

happy father's day!
GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

big wins

hallo everybody!

this picture above might seem really random, but this creepy fella is mr. sardonicus. he's the main character in a 1950s horror flick of the same title. i just saw the movie tonight on a local tv station. i was actually horrified when i saw his face for the first time, and it takes alot to freak me out. the movie's plot plays on the idea of the role of psychology in perception.

and now to business: last night's game was finally over, but at a terrible score: 7-2 in favor of the brewers. after d'oh-tel, dj "tabasco" carrasco came on, and gave up 3 more runs, to put the brewers ahead 6-2 at that point. after tabasco, aaron "jew-jitzu" poreda made his major league debut.

poreda actually didnt do too bad compared with his predicessors. poreda had 2 Ks and gave up only 1 run. he's got a bright major league future.

today's game was on fox, which im ashamed to admit, but i didnt watch the whole game. i was busy all day and only until 5 or so did i sit down to watch. jose contreras, the new miracle man, was starting today, and pitched 8 innings of spectacular, no-hit baseball. manny parra got the call for the brewers, and lasted a mere 1.5 innings. he gave up 6 runs in the 2nd. i think the sox scored their final run in the 6th. when i turned the game on, it was 7-0 in the 8th. scott linebrink was then called up to close the game, but he gave up 1 run. final score was 7-1 in favor of the white sox.

tomorrow is game 3, but it'll be on cable. i also have to go to the airport to pick up my parents and brother, who are coming back from AZ (my brother had orientation at school), but later on, i'll be going to a concert at ravinia. it'll be fun.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

up and down

hello!

our homestand was absolutely miserable. after contreras got us our win, we dropped the next 2 games to the tigers. 1 of those games, as it fell, was an extra-inning affair (we lost it in, i think, the 15th). it would have been worse if we'd lost yesterday, but through some miracle, we managed to win. what happened was that gavin floyd and his BHB got the call to start. BHB pitched pretty well, and by time he'd left in the 8th, the score was 3-1 in favor of the white sox. scott linebrink did setup and bobby jenks (who's been struggling lately) was called in to close. with 2 outs, he gives up a 2-run homerun to curtis granderson in the top of the 9th.

yeah, not cool.

come the bottom of the 9th, tigers closer joel zumaya was called up to finish this game and take it into extra innings. from his first pitch, the white sox had grabbed him by the balls and didnt let go till the game was over. zoomie loaded up the bases (his first pitch was a double by BA), and it was none other than podsie-pan who brought in the winning run on a single. podsie, who is notorious for not coming through in the clutch, raised his batting average a little bit by bringing in BA. the final score was 4-3 in favor of the white sox.

today, my boys went north to milwaukee, otherwise known as beer city, to play the brewers. thought the game is currently in progress with the sox winning 2-0 in the top of the 6th (runs scored in the 2nd by alexei and aj, respectively), it has been a strange game. in the first inning, podsie-pan got caught too far off the bag by jeff suppan, the pitcher who has no range of motion. but aside from that, it must be a full moon or something cuz the officiating crew seems more than a little lost. in the 4th inning, podsie stole 2nd, but was called out cuz he went off the bag. on the replay, it didnt look like that was the case (at least as far as i could tell). also, in the 3rd, there was another controversial call. one of the milwaukee players, i dont remember his name, tried to lay a bunt, and it landed in the dirt right in front of the plate. i thought it was fair, cuz for what little official rules i know about MLB, i know that in the infield, anywhere between the white lines, its fair. it would have been a double play, but the refs ruled it foul. naturally, i screamed at the tv screen that the refs needed their eyes checked.

breaking news! clayton richard was pulled in the bottom of the 6th after overthrowing josh fields to land beer city's own beloved tattooed fatass, prince fielder, at 1st. pidgeon-toed octavio d'oh-tel comes in to pitch, and gives up a double to milwaukee's corey hart. fielder scores (who knew that fatass could run so fast!). milwaukee leads 2-1. hey, there's a reason we in chicago call him "d'oh-tel".

speaking of "d'oh!", guess who's getting walked just now? yep, jason kendall. i know the fine folks at "more hardball" recently dedicated an entry to this fella.

breaking news! hart scores after pitcher jeff suppan singles. it was supposed to be a popup, but alexei and podsie had a chicago cubs moment where the ball dropped between them (the cubs are famous for this). kendall just scored after mcgehee singles. brewers lead 3-2.

will this inning ever end?

finally its over. i'll be back later once the game is over for any final thoughts.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

the million dollar win

hidey-ho!! (*yelled in a mr. hankey voice*)

looks like jose contreras has taken the 1st step towards redeeming himself in the eyes of sox fans. after a month in the minors, jose had to pass the ultimate test: did it pay off.

for now, yes it did. jose's forkball was sharp, his pitches were on target, and the offense actually woke up. if jose can get more wins, i will bestow upon him the title of the new "miracle man". normally, i refer to john danks as "the miracle man" because of his stellar career last year, but i think this year jose contreras (provided that he stays on the good path) is a far better contender for that title, especially since it appears that he's resurrecting his end-of-the-road career.

today, detroit's own lardass trainwreck, dontrelle willis got the call to start. not only has his career been mediocre, but as i commented once on "more hardball" about dontrelle: his weight did him in. i remember dontrelle when he was with the marlins, and he was a skinny little twig. now, he's so fat that he can barely lift his leg up during the windup!

but weight aside, according to the guys at south side sox, dontrelle's been having a good game so far. last i checked, the game was tied 1-1. as for our starter, it was our lone ace mark buerhle.

and in other news, the sox called up aaron "jew-jitzu" poreda (not a "south park" insult! aaron poreda really is jewish! nickname inspired by the photo below). poreda was so happy that on his facebook status, he posted "This is the biggest day of my life... I'm goin to Chicago, the big leagues, and I ain't never goin back!!!!!". i wouldn't be so brash about not going back to the minors if i were you, but thats ok.

come on boys! lets gain some ground!

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

turds

boy oh boy, have we been bad.

we dropped the series to the A's after winning the 1st game (they won 3 our of 4), got swept by the indians (in 2 of those games we were shut out), and today we dropped the 1st game of a double-header to the detroit tigers with jose "can't win" contreras coming up to pitch in game 2!

yesterday, ozzie was telling the press that the sox offense had run out of bullets by the 3rd inning. while the game was on cable, the lowlights showed that my boys were pretty lackluster. i mean, fat bartolo gave up like 4 solo homeruns (some back-to-back) over the course of 6 innings.

as for the miracle arrival of gordon beckham (who's 9th inning error cost us the lead today), he's been about as effective as a beta-player in the dvd-age (my dad had a beta-im too young to know what it is!) going something like 0-22 in 6 games. this blows!

and in other news, my boy may be getting back soon! reports from south side sox say that carlos is almost ready to return! he'll have to go through some minor league stints cuz he's been outta baseball for a while, recouperating from plantar fasciitis. if beckham couldnt spark the team resurrection, maybe my boy will.

thats all from my end of the blogosphere!

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

im back!

hi everyone! specifically to gm-carson and burton, my 2 associates at more hardball, since they're the only two people who actually bother to visit my blog regularly.

i just finished my finals and in the midst of packing up to leave this dingy dormroom for the summer, i thought id take a moment to post my regular rambling opinion-heavy analysis of the white sox.

i checked up on the score yesterday when gavin floyd and his BHB got to face carl "american idle" pavano. we got womped 9-4. as per custom, i was cruising the boards at south side sox for any notable analysis, and 1 user (i believe it was 'the cheat') colloquially referanced an older article about gavin floyd in which the writer, phil rogers of the chicago tribune's sports dept., wrote that gavin floyd had managed to go 12 games without "looking like a doody". fast forward to this year, and gavin floyd has managed to look like a doody in 5 of his last 7 starts.

today, clayton richard got the call to start. after enough pressure (though i wouldnt be surprised if a few threats probably worked their way in there amongst the angry emails and letters-NONE OF WHICH I SENT!!) ozzie and kenny finally demoted jose contreras. only instead of dumping him in the minors, the sox desginated him for bullpen duty. clayton richard is contreras' replacement. he had a good day, but in the 5th, he started to lose it, so dj "tabasco" carrasco-1 of our more effective setup men-came out and got the win for the sox. the great bobby jenks, who was fined a mind boggling $750 for throwing at ian kinsler's ass, came out to get the save (note to bobby-you might wanna shut up about throwing at batters. vito corleone put it best when he told sonny "never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking").

as for any other notable highlights, jim thome hit 2 2-run home runs, and our offense finally woke up with corky miller (or "q!orky" as the SSS'ers refer to him-q! was derived from none other than my boy carlos) hitting some singles. gaahhh, i hope 'corky' isnt corky's real name. i mean, of all the names to name your kid, why that. anyway, back to the subject at hand-must remember to write coherantly!-im almost afraid to wish that this win's momentum should carry us to victory tomorrow cuz whenever i say that, we get blown out badly. so, i'll say instead "good luck boys!!"

in other news, perhaps the biggest crush is that my boy is out with a sore heel. he won't be back till friday. one of the commenters on southside sox remarked that he saw my boy with a half-smile on his face and assumed that he was on some heavy-duty painkillers. to that, another poster replied that he'd been laid. DAMMIT! shouldn'ta wrote that! bad images forming in my head. YAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

thats all for tonite folks!!

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

0-5

that sad number you see in the title is now officially jose contreras' record. he may as well have played his last start in the majors. if he's not demoted within the next week, kenny williams should expect to be swamped with angry emails and letters from fans who want contreras' sorry ass outta the bullpen. its time for this man to go.

ibis guillen can do a fresh load of laundry for ozzie tonight. the momentum from our big win last night had completely turned around. last night, we were doin the kicking. tonight, we were on the recieving end of the abuse.

tomorrow, game 3 will be broadcast on WGN at 5 my time. the miracle man john danks gets the call to start.

in other news, i had my economics final today. i think it went well. my next finals are thankfully my last ones, and they're on tuesday.

OH!! i almost forgot!! here's a correction from yesterday's post! yesterday, when diva manny got busted for hcg, i made a mistake in describing the drug's function. as im sure you all have heard by now, its a female fertility hormone, not a testosterone enhancer like i'd said previously. well, i guess it could be classified as a testosterone enhancer cuz its typically given to men to restore their natural testosterone production after they're done taking steroids. but in this light, for the sake of decency, i'll hold off on the cheesy jokes that manny will start growing boobs and get a period within the next month or so (although i wont be surprised if he has developed either up to this point-he certainly acts hormonal!!!), or the snide jokes about manny not being able to get it up in the sack. being the honest blogger-journalist that i am, if i make a mistake, i'll actually take the steps to correct it.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

rain rain go away, part II

yes, even the most diligent of persons make mistakes from time to time (ichiro...you and your mental signals know what im talking about!!).

turns out, i spoke too soon about the game being called over. the game resumed in the bottom of the 5th. in the 6th, jd got plunked on the arm and left the game. lilly-bridge took his place. the rangers loaded up the bases and my dad's twin aj pierzynski (i kid you not-a younger version of my dad would be almost identical to aj pierzynski) hits his 7th career grand slam.

sox 5, rangers 9. in the 6th we got another run in before another rain delay was called. this was a much shorter delay, but neither team scored anymore runs after the 7th.

final score-sox: 6, rangers: 9. not as bad but its still a loss. and as i bitched about earlier, ozzie and kenny should start filing the paperwork to send the newly-svelte jose contreras down to the minors.

all other info is the same.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

rain rain go away

yep, yet another rain delay. the game's been delayed three times already! it seems that my boys in black-and-white are a magnet for bad weather!























as for the game itself, it was horrible! the sox took the lead in the 2nd on a sac-fly from alexei which brought that old gasbag paulie home-who knew grandpa could run so fast! after that, it all fell apart. the rangers scored 3 runs in the 3rd, and 6 runs in the 4th when the game got called again. the score at the last rain delay was 9-1 in favor of the rangers. i think after the 5th, the game was officially called. never mind-WGN's 9:00 news crew just said they're goin back out to arlington to finish the game. wait, they're still in rain delay and its indefininate. i guess thats my cue that its unofficially over.

ozzie, kenny this one's for you: GET CUNT-RERAS OUTTA HERE!!!! he has absolutely no control whatsoever (i saw 2 wild pitches during the actual game) and when given a lead, he cant keep it!! once BA and dewayne wise get better, send podsie-pan AND contreras down to charlotte. this turd is turning into a giant drain on the team! best way to treat the disease is to get to the cause or one of the causes.

jose, this one's for you.



















next game is tomorrow on es-pun at 5 my time. hopefully there's better weather tomorrow.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

wild wild west

as usual, jose contreras did not get his win. HOWEVER, kenny and ozzie may want to hold off on demoting him for now. by all accounts, contreras pitched a good game, but scott linebrink, another no-name pitcher on our staff, lost it and made contreras' outing a no-decision.

tonite, the mariners pay a visit to the cell. this means that our old friend griffey is back in town!! i remember seeing griffey play last year. he wasnt bad, but he's clearly getting old. i guess returning to your old team is a nice way to end your career. the sports hernia had a really funny post about griffey's famous backwards hat. you can read it here. the mariners are in 1st place with a 12-7 record, and our miracle man john danks is set to take on their pitcher, chris jakubauskas (sp? thats a heluva name). expect a good game.

unfortunately, the game is broadcast on a local chicago tv station tonight, so i cant watch the game. however, wednesday's game is on WGN, so i can catch at least 1 game. im at the mercy of the cable company. if you're wondering why i dont get mlb.tv, its because its too expensive, and if the guys at south side sox are right, theres alotta kinks that still need to be worked out.

thats all for today!
GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

ass-kicking alexei ramirez

hooray!!! we finally got ourselves a win!!!

after suffering a 15-min rain delay, the blue jays jumped on mark buerhle early and were up by 2 in the 2nd. however, my boys came back to tie the game at 2. by the 5th inning, we got the bases loaded and the current infield stinker, alexei ramirez, comes up to bat. since his batting avg was a measly 0.145, and he's been swinging at everything, its another quick out, right?

WRONG!!!

just like casey at bat (or those other baseball stories), lo and behold, the lowly alexei hits a grand slam that put the sox ahead 6-2. it was his 1st home run of the season, and his 5th career grand slam. my boys in black and white managed to get 4 more runs in before the game was over, a final score of 10-2 in favor of us.

now that the series is tied 1-1, its up to the newly-svelte, but outta control jose contreras to give us the win. if he fails again, ozzie and kenny should really seriously start making plans to send this albatross down to the minors. its either that or push into retirement cuz he's clearly lost his pitcher's touch. tomorrow's game wont be broadcast over wgn, but in a way, im dreading that game's outcome, given jose's very poor start and frightening record.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

white house colon blow

hey-yo!

sorry im so late in posting! on monday, the sox paid president obama a visit. normally, id be spilling my right-wing guts about how much i disagree with obama and his policies, but that subject's reserved for my other blog, the pen is mightier than the sword. anyway, by all accounts, the visit went well. kenny the gm presented the president with a customized 'obama' white sox jersey, and the "nervous and sweaty" octavius d'oh-tel (who else but octavio dotel, our pidegon-toed setup man who cant keep the ball in the park) asked the president for a hug, and got one. im not making this up. d'oh-tel asked for a hug. he said it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

looks like the visit to the white house put a jinx on the sox. they dropped their 1st game after contreras stank up the field like rotting fish. and speaking of contreras, i bet im not the only sox fan who's calling for kenny and ozzie to DO something about him!! contreras is 0-3 and has an ERA of at least 10.00. now, im not too good at math, but even a half-wit like myself knows that an ERA over 3 is cause for alarm. i say, throw him into the minors until he gets his act together.

yesterday's game was pretty good. we hit homeruns, RBIs, and tried to run the bases efficiantly. but today, it all came crashing down. aside from that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon losing his shit on the mound, my boys in black and white committed 1 error, got overpowered by the lowly adam eaton, and (rightfully) got creamed 10-7. when i looked at the standings, we're tied with the lowly royals for, get this, 2ND PLACE!! chain-smoking marlboro man jim leyland's tigers are in 1st.

but that wasnt the worst news. during today's game, my boy carlos got hit on the hand with a pitch. he was taken out early, and the diagnosis was apparantly a bruise. no x-rays were taken (so i read). get well soon baby! we dont need another repeat of the end of last season!

thats all for tonight. even though my computer clock says its 9:35 pm, i feel like im about to doze off. normally im up till the late hours of the night blogging or doing actual work, and it looks like my life of sleeplessness is catching up with me. that or sitting in the dark facing my computer screen is beginning to bore the corneas clean outta my eyes.

GO WHITE SOX!!! get well soon baby q <3

tamtam

rainout, ozzie spills his guts, and guess who's back!

hey-yo!!

today's game in detroit was rained out. that sucked cuz our miracle man was due to start. but tomorrow the newly-svelte jose contreras is due to take the mound. hope he has a better game tomorrow. this trip for us in detroit has been pretty good so far. paulie and jd went back-to-back for record-setting home runs, my boy q hit 2 home runs in the same game, and buerhle got his groove back.

so to fill out this rain-delay, i came across a funny Q&A segment featuring none other than ozzie guillen, our crazy manager.

in this Q&A, ozzie revealed that he would like to interview fidel castro, hugo chavez (who's regime he is currently displeased with), and barack obama. ozzie also is very superstitious: when the team is on a winning streak, he doesnt change his clothes (including underwear), and after a 10-gm winning streak, he claims "my locker doesnt smell too good". i gets thats a good way of picking who he wants to talk to in the media on a given day: interview ozzie by his locker and the ones left standing get to give the interview XD. other than being disgustingly dirty when the team is on a winning streak (i'll bet there are times his wife just wishes the team would lose so she can wash ozzie's clothes and send him off to bed/work smelling CLEAN!!), ozzie reveals that he dreams about shakira and considers sox fans the smarter chicago baseball fans ("sox fans actually care about baseball...cubs fans only go to get drunk."). the Q&A, conducted by es-pun's jim caple, can be viewed in its entirity here.

finally, a story which broke this morning, and has been thoroughly digested by people all over the sports blogosphere (well, specifically at south side sox). scott podsednik, known affectionately as 'podsie-pan' (see here for clarification-its old, but its perfect timing too!), went from being a speedy catalyst to being a putzy crunk, and bounced around the majors for a few years. since his fielding has declined considerably since his time with us, the sox signed podsie-pan to a minor league deal. i guess they'll bring him up when general soreness jerry owens, brought up when ba starts to suck, goes down with another sore groin. basically, podsie-pan is now the backup to the backup to the backup.

thats all for tonite!! im going to a tea party tomorrow here in tucson, so i may or may not be able to catch all of the sox game on wgn. but if i miss, the next televised game is on saturday. thank god for south side sox to break things down for me when i cant catch the games.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

another day, another game down the toilet

im sitting here, at my desk, in front of my computer, in my dingy dormroom at the unholy hour of 11:54 pm, surrounded by unwashed dishes, garbage, and empty cans of red bull, coffee cups, and cigarette butts (just kidding-i hate red bull and coffee, and i sure as hell dont smoke). what am i doing in this condition this late at night?

im thinking about my white sox. frankly, they're making me quite depressed.

i dont know what is wrong with them?! they cant hit, they cant pitch-the bullpen was a complete joke, giving up 7 runs in the 7th inning. the final score was an ass-raping 12-5 in favor of the twins. i'd hate to be a journalist interviewing ozzie right about now-every word that comes out of his mouth is liable to be a curse word, and i'll bet he's taken to going tasmanian devil on his office or in the locker room. i know its early, i know that april is usually a sleepy time for stats, but this is utterly pathetic!! i'd hate to think it, but by going svelte-i think contreras (our pitcher) has lost his control or velocity. he gave up a few runs over the course of his 5-innings pitched.

as for any highlights, looks like my boy carlos is getting back in the swing of things-no pun intended. he hit a solo HR in the bottom of the 7th. maybe his new wrist hasnt killed his power after all (or at least not a whole lot). paulie also hit a home run in the 3rd that gave the sox the lead (which they squandered).

thats the scoop from this end of the blogosphere. tomorrow the game is on fox. i might be able to catch the game, but if the game is as pathetic at today's, im turning it off. lets hope tomorrow's game is better than today's.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam