Jim Thome is a Twin

There's a headline not many people in White Sox Nation ever thought they'd see.

The story is true. Jim Thome is indeed a Minnesota Twin. They signed him for 1 year, $1.6 million.

In response to this unsettling bit of news, my favorite cartoonist, Carl Skanberg came up with this cartoon (the shirtless guy is a Chicago Blackhawks hockey player named Jonathan Toews who got in trouble for a DUI).












**Image courtesy of Carl Skanberg**

If it's any consolation, we in White Sox Nation can rest a little easier with the knowledge that Thome hasn't got much left in the tank.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

Thome or not Thome

So in the course of this busy offseason, we have aquired Omar Vizquel-a 43 yr old wonderboy, avoided arbitration with that fat dustmop Bobby Jenks (although he reportedly slimmed down alot since the end of the season, so now I might have to just call him a dustmop. Wonder if Bartolo "Fatso" Colon took any hints too) and my boy Carlos Quentin. JD might be going to the Cubs (NOO!!), and we officially have no DH now that Thome is gone.

But this gaping hole at DH is precisely the topic for today's post.

"Big League Stew" says that Ozzie intends to use a rotation of Vizquel, Mark Kotsay, and newcomer Andruw Jones in the DH slot. The reason for this, according to the Sun Times, is that if needed, Vizquel, Kotsay, and Jones can pick up a glove and play defense. Thome will be 40 in August, and is clearly well past his playing days, but was our most productive hitter over the course of the mediocre 2009 season. Now that the Dodgers have released Thome, and no one has picked him up so far, big Jim just might come back to the AL central, but as a dreaded Twin or Tiger.

As a loyal White Sox fan, I would excore Kenny Williams to pick up Jim Thome. But reality says that even if we did pick him up, where would we put him? With the whole concept of a rotating DH, Thome might sit on the bench for days at a time, and then get grilled by the media for not playing. And as even the most dimwitted of economists knows, it's never a good idea to waste money on something that doesn't produce its value.

BLS speculates that because the Sox don't look like they want Thome back, we just may as well have traded away our shot at winning the AL Central. Of course, it's early in the season, so there is still the possibility that we'll be fine, provided Alex Rios, my boy, and Mark Teahan all have career seasons. If not, Kenny's got some explaining to do...

Yet in spite of all these concerns and unknowns, I trust Ozzie and Kenny. Don't forget, there's still Spring Training, so if our rotating DH doesn't work out as planned, it's still not too late to go after Thome!

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

Podsie-Pan's Dear John Letter

Well, our season has thankfully come to an end. To be honest, I'd all but stopped watching baseball b/c school was getting more and more demanding, and the Sox started to suck so bad.

But at least the Twinkies blew up the Metrodome. We never had much luck up there in that infernal dome.

Now to the story of the day. Written by the authors at southside sox, is Scott Podsednik's "Dear John" letter. As we all know, the "Dear John" letter is a letter given by someone to their significant other, stating that the relationship didn't work out for various reasons.

Podsie, this one's for you.

Dear Scott --

I know we usually call you 'Scotty Pods' or 'Peter Pan' or some other cute nickname like that, but we didn't feel it was appropriate for a letter of such importance.

This is gonna be hard for us to say. I mean we really like you... even if you do get on our nerves with all your poor defensive routes and frustratingly inept baserunning blunders. But, well, we just don't want you to be one of our starting outfielders next year, and we could never picture a future for the White Sox with you in the DH role. It would be terrible if we let a little thing like a few million dollars, a few hundred at-bats and starting position come between us. We knew you would understand. You always do.

You've always been there for us, and we love you for that. Remember when Bobby blew the lead in game 2 and you bitchmade Brad Lidge? or just this season when we were feeling down, and didn't have a single outfielder who could field the ball and hold his own at the plate for any extended period of time? You were there for us, and it means the world to us. Really, it does. I don't think we could ever truly express what our time together has meant to us.

But there comes a time in every relationship when you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself 'Where is this going? Is there really any future for us?' Unfortunately, we just don't think of you that way. We're sorry. At this point in our relationship, we're just looking for different things. We want a championship contender and you want playing time and a place in our starting lineup; those two objectives would seem to be mutually exclusive.

You can still be our 4th outfielder. You really are the best 4th outfielder we've ever had, and we'd hate to lose that, especially over a silly thing like playing time.

Your stutter step will always make us smile. You're grindy and all the girls think you're cute. You should have no trouble finding yourself another team. But please know we will always be here, willing to give you a minor league contract and a non-roster invite.

Signed,

Your Biggest Fans

SouthSideSox

And in other news, the late Dewayne Wise opted for free agency. Don't expect him back next year. As for the late great Jim Thome, his dodgers are down 2 games to the Phillies (and getting ass-raped 11-0 by the Phillies last night didn't exactly help either). Though I'd like to see the Phillies kick the Yankees' asses in the World Series (despite my hopes that the Angels will hold out and at least take one game), I would prefer to see Jim Thome get to the World Series. The man is long overdue for a ring.

GOOD LUCK JIMMY!

tamtam

crucial updates

hi everyone!

it's been a while since i've written last, but i've been busy with class.

so lets see, whats been going on in white sox nation...well, diva jake peavy finally got around to starting for us. he did good, but unfortunately, it was too little too late. yeah, my white sox are completely eliminated for any hopes of playoff contention. what a dismal season indeed.

but because its not over till its over, we can still have a decision over who can clinch the AL central. as of yesterday, it looks like detroit is gonna win the AL central. its a damn shame, but given our underperformance this year, the punishment is more than fitting for our lack of effort.

in a weekly post on my other site, more hardball, there came the stunning revelation about 2 weeks ago that my GM kenny williams had given not just himself, but also all the coaches on our staff, contract extensions. now, if we'd had a good year, i would be ok with it. but since we had a crappy year, white sox nation is looking at kenny like he's bonkers. earlier in the year, he threw jim thome and jose contreras under the bus (and out to the NL west), with paul konerko, JD, and the dustmop soon to follow. isn't it common sense that rewarding failure breeds more failure? someone better tell kenny that there's no bailout coming from obama, even though he and kenny are BFFs. besides, most of our coaches have been with us since 2005 and are past their expiration dates. some fresh blood wouldn't be a bad idea.

and in other news, obama has flown to copenhagen on our tab to appeal to attempt to bring the 2016 olympics to chicago, only to be bitch-slapped by the olympic committee and denied. though i am from chicago, i am quite overjoyed at our failure because it is no more than a giant payoff for the daley cronies and union thugs.

thats it for now.

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now Finale

the finale

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now Finale

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tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 7

krazy kanye strikes again!

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 7

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tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 6

manny proves his handiness in part 6 of this adventure

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 6

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tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 5

manny, you are utterly retarded!

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 5

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tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 4

come along with manny and jim as they continue their journey to reunite the 1997 cleveland indians in LA!

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 4

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GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 3

more fun with manny and jim

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 3

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tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 2

more shenanigans from manny and jim thome!

featuring guest appearances from orel hersheiser and our favorite fatso, bartolo colon!

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 2

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tamtam

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 1

manny and JI JIM THOME team up to win the world series!

The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now, Part 1

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tamtam

bye bye jim and jose

the things coming out of my manager, kenny williams' head are getting crazier and crazier! someone oughtta start my GM back on his anti-OCD pills!

first, he practically ripped up the system to get diva jake peavy (who's now on the DL with elbow problems-nice going kenny!), then he got alex rios and mark kotsay, now in perhaps the biggest shocker of the year, jose contreras gets traded to the rockies, and

JI

JIM THOME

(if you read my "dugout" links that i post up here, that is how jim thome announces his arrival at the chatroom)

got traded to the los angeles dodgers! yes, you read that right! big jim thome has gone to LA. since LA is obviously gonna make the playoffs, big jim's chance of getting a world series ring before he retires is greater out there than back here in chi-town. what the dodgers plan to do with jim, since he's too old to really do anything, remains to be seen. i wasn't too surprised about contreras leaving, since he's pretty much done for, but i was shocked that jim would leave us.

in light of this shocking trade, i'd like to say thank you to jim and jose. though you've both seen better days, i'd like to thank you for your years of service and may you find success in your new cities of employment.

in a fitting tribute on southside sox, user madopal had this to say:

JI
JIM,
ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW YOUR ACTIONS INADVERTENTLY RUINED THE DAY OF RENOWNED OPERA SINGER ENRICO PALLAZZO

YOU WILL BE MIST, YOU BIG TATER.

and in reply, user boejouma replied:

IM AFRAID THE DAMAGE IS QUITE SEVERE
to all of our hearts

goodbye everyone. ps-sox lose yet again. we're now 6 games back. what a miserable season this turned out to be.

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

2010 pie

fresh from southside sox. this little ditty (ripped off from "american pie") pretty much sums up our whole season

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember How spring training used to make me smile.
And I knew the boys had a chance
To make it to the Autumn Dance
And, maybe, stick around for a while.

But late August made me shiver
With every loss they delivered.
Bad news on the front page;
No more hope at this stage.
I laughed so hard I almost cried
When I read the dumb shit about pride,
Turned off the games and went outside
The day the season died.

So bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye.
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Did you think we'd rise above,
And did you have faith in Fields' glove,
Because Cora tells you so?
Do you believe who they put out,
Goggles, The Bridge, all those shut outs,
And poor Q! limping off the field real slow?

Well, there was the Colon experiment,
We all know how awesome that went.
Him and the Count just shat the bed,
How many innings will DJ get?

We called up a Georgia broncin buck
Tore the stitches off after initial suck,
But even He couldn't save this clusterfuck
The day the season died.

I started singin "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Now last year we got the Central crown
Stood to repeat since the rest are down,
But it just wasn't meant to be.
When you trot out Gobble, Broadway, and Nessie,
Plus Linebrink shits bricks for all to see,
At least there was perfection from Buehrle...

Oh, and then The Ace got knocked around,
After another seventeen sat down.
Danks' shakiness returned,
Was shutdown or got burned.
And while Floyd's been solid down the stretch,
There were points where he'd make you wretch,
Wise ensured legacy with The Catch.
But still, the season died.

We were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Defense melted in a summer swelter,
Bullpen giving up bombs; better seek shelter,
Just two back then falling fast.
Last games on dome's fake-ass grass
The old guys tried for one last gasp,
People shout to stop living in the past.

Now the trade deadline was taken shrewd,
We locked up Peavy and that Rios dude.
We want to go to The Dance,
Oh, but we screw up every chance!
'cause the facepalm lineups take the field;
Runners the pitching would always yield.
Errors galore, their fate was sealed.
The day the season died.

We were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Oh, for the day they were in first place,
Instead of Pods out there with bad breaks
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Pods be nimble, Pods be quick!
Pods picked off like a dumb prick
Cause the devil's gonna collect, my friend.

Oh, and Ozzie kept Alex in a cage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No snowball's chance in hell
Could break the doghouse spell.
And as Sox fans argue into the night
About when Peavy's start is right,
The offense loses all its fight
The day the season died.

They were singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

Next year we'll get a healthy Q!,
A Savior with less defense miscues,
Some contracts will be turned away.
A shakeup in the lineup core
Can't play the same guys as years before,
No sense paying them for declining play.

And on the nets: commenters screamed,
The kittehs cried, dumb statements reamed.
The right rail was a joke and
"No subject lines" verboten.
And the one guy that I like most:
Sat at home, bored, career is toast.
Sign Frank so he ends as a Pale Hose
Now that the season's died.

And we'll be singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

We'll be singing, "Bye-bye, Count, Thome, and Dye."
See you later alligator,
We'll call up young and cheap guys.
Sign scrap heap fodder Kenny pulls out his backside
Saying, "this'll be the team that gets pie."
"this'll be the team that gets pie."

indeed, what a miserable season it was.
GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

The Dugout: Jim Passes Reggie

our favorite chatman jim "wordupthome" thome surpasses reggie jackson on the home run list! more to come on this later!

in the meantime, enjoy the dugout

The Dugout: Jim Passes Reggie

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tamtam

The Dugout: A Perfect Game

jim thome makes a racket of himself, yet again.

The Dugout: A Perfect Game

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tamtam

the week in review

dearest reader(s),

im so sorry that i haven't been able to write about my boys in black-and-white. its just that this week, i started working at a greek nursing home (currently, its just volunteering, but that could soon change since my supervisor told me about a program that pays you for volunteering). i work everyday for about 4 hours, just babysitting old people. its not too bad, i just help the aides with activities and shuffling the farts around. my only problem is that i dont speak greek, and while i've picked up a few words (they call me "kuklamu", which means "doll"-or "sweetheart", and i also learned "ela" which means "come"), im largely clueless as to what is being said when greek is spoken.

consequently, i havent been able to watch baseball AT ALL this week. but since tonight's game is on cable, and i dont work today, i will do a recap of the week.

last weekend and into monday, the detroit tigers came to town. and with them, former sock and communist shemale magglio ordonez (at least thats what the sports gossip forums say) returned to face his old manager whom he disputed with at the end of his season with the sox. magglio also got a haircut (finally), but the sox won that series.

on tuesday, the dodgers came to chicago for 3 games. after dropping game 1 to the dodgers, the sox managed to win the last 2. game 2 was a blowout, and game three was much closer, but it was a last-minute victory for the sox after jim thome (who's been on a hot streak) hit an RBI to win it. aside from beating the best team in baseball, ozzie guillen blew some steam at the team for their lackluster offense in his usual postgame press conference.

yesterday, the cubs came to the cell. the newly-revamped jose contreras was pitching and although he gave up 3 runs, he had 8Ks-which is pretty good any day. the sox almost came back to win it in the 8th, but the cubs pitchers shut them down.

and in other news, the fucktard milton bradley is in trouble-again. after popping out in the 6th, bradley threw a terrible tantrum in the dugout-throwing his helmet and destroying a water cooler (perhaps channeling zambrano and dempster's reactions to bad outings), prompting equally-hotheaded manager, lou pinella to send him home. though i dont care for the cubs 1 way or another, me and just about every sports reporter in the city thinks it was a bad idea for the cubs to sign this douchebag. looks like it's gonna be another lackluster year for this guy.

to the west coast: manny is almost ready to return. he would have returned on wednesday, but a storm delayed the game, and subsequently his return. in the words of conan o'brian, "manny will now soon be the first player to hit for the menstrual cycle" (get it-he used female fertility drugs...)

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

shplits!

hi-yo!

first off, happy 30th birthday to my good friend burton over at "more hardball", and probably the only person who will willingly sit and read through my ramblings :).

looks like we're back to being the same old team as before. on monday we came back to chicago and in a last minute move, ozzie switched starters. normally, fatso had been scheduled to pitch monday, but allegedly came down with food poisoning after eating some bad guacamole (so say the guys at south side sox). its still a little murky as to why fatso got pulled, but anyway, gavin floyd and his BHB got the call to serve instead. BHB pitched a good game and jim thome hit a 2-run home run in the later innings to further increase our lead. our final score on monday was 11-5.

yesterday, however, was a different story. fatso was pitching and looks like the guacamole was still hanging on him cuz he gave up a run in the 1st, and then 3 runs in the 4th. our offense was shuttered by the a's pitcher, vincent mazz-somethingorother (dont know his last name and dont feel like looking it up). we were blanked 5-0.

tonight's the final game of the series. clayton richard gets the call to start, and i'll be watching this game cuz its at 7 pm on WCIU. maybe this time we can actually win a series at home!!

GO WHITE SOX!!!
tamtam

royal flush

hey hey!!

the white sox topped off a rewarding roadtrip by sweeping, yes-SWEEPING, the kansas city royals. the first game was on friday, and we ass-raped the royals 11-7. unfortunately, this game was on cable, and therefore i did not catch it.

the next game was yesterday. for this game, it was mark buehrle who got the call to start. also for this game, MLB had the teams bring out the throwback uniforms. let me just say that the old royals uniforms (then called "monarchs") looked pretty freakin' gay. i mean, it was like something right out of "the natural" or "field of dreams". the royals' hats looked like someone had put a bowl on your head and glued a dark, straight bill to it. at least the sox had dark uniforms with white pinstripes. dark colors will always be fashionable.

but enough about the crappy uniforms and onto a more serious matter, such as BASEBALL!!! the sox had a good game. they were leading 3-1 at 1 point, but then buehrle gave up a 2-run home run to tie the game at 3. luckly, jim thome hit an RBI double in the 9th that put us up 5-3. bobby jenks and that dustmop beard of his came out and got the save for us. take note, however, that i did not watch the game in its entirity. my mom made me go walking with her (something about me needing "exercise"), so i missed most of the game, but i caught the end!

today's game i was sure to catch in its entirity. it was a monster pitching matchup: john danks the miracle man vs. the lone royals ace, zack "grienkydinks" greinke. however, the pitching on both sides was less than spectacular on both sides. grienkydinks gave up 1 run in the 1st, and blew a 4-1 lead. miracle man, on the other hand, couldn't find the strike zone and had to rely on the offense to make up for his lack of control. the score would have been much higher, but our defense did a good job of getting the ball to where it needed to be FAST. alexei ramirez, who earlier in the game lost a ball in the sun and further extended a bad inning, made up for his error by catching everything that went his way. paulie also was looking young as he scooped a ball up outta the dirt to catch a royals runner by a hair. after miracle man was relieved of duty, pidgeon-toed octavio d'oh-tel took over for the next 2 innings, setting the tone for matt thornton and scott linebrink. grienkydinks continued to pitch until the 7th, even though he'd gone over the 100 pitches mark. i remarked to my dad that because grienke was the ace, the royals were gonna keep him in there until his arm fell off. we finally took the lead in the 9th after royals reliever juan cruz failed to keep our guys' bats in check. BA, who came in on a pinch-run, made the most awesome slide home. he just dove into home plate, missing the catchers glove, and might have gone head-over-heels if he kept sliding long enough. we sweep the royals with a final score of 7-4. grienke did not get his win; mission accomplished.

tomorrow, that fat tub-o-lard bartolo colon gets the start against the A's. fatso's last game was pretty impressive, and while the A's have my former fan-flame nomar garciaparra (i loved him in boston) on the team, this should be an easy series. nomar's too old to do any serious damage, and as far as i can tell, the A's are nothing to write home about. plus, its the start of a 12-game homestand for us. can you smell another sweep? or is all those burgers that fatso's swiping from the buffet table?

whatever, tubby. just get us our damn win tomorrow!

GO WHITE SOX!!!

tamtam

the return of podsie-pan

scotty 'podsie-pan' podsednik can pretty much follow one of gen. douglas macarthur's most famous quotes: "people of chicago, i have returned".

yeah, thats right, podsie-pan, the once-speedy-catalyist-now-putzy-crunk who was on our '05 world series roster and has been bouncing around the majors (and most recently the minors), came back.

he had a good game, and the sox got their game-winning run off of him. though i dont get comcast here in AZ, i read on the white sox website that podsie-pan got balked, and then scored on chris getz' 1st career triple. sox win 4-3. originally, the sox were down 3-0 against the rangers up till the 7th when jolly jim thome hit a 3-run RBI to tie the game.

tomorrow's game is on WGN at 5:00 my time. hope we have a good game like today!

GO WHITE SOX!!
tamtam